


The Hidden Tale of Fire and Ice

by rosaloves



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Badass Katara (Avatar), F/M, Firelord Zuko (Avatar), Friends to Lovers, Jealous Zuko (Avatar), Jealousy, Minor Aang/Katara, Minor Mai/Zuko, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Road Trips, Slow Dancing, Zutara, former kataang, former maiko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26494099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosaloves/pseuds/rosaloves
Summary: When Zuko finds a lead to his missing mother, he wants to go and find her in secret.The only one he tells is Katara and just like that she decides to tag along."You didn't hesitate a second to help me find out who killed my mother. Now I won't hesitate to help you find your mother."
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 53





	1. Hidden Malaise

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah hi, soooo this is my first "published" Zutara fic and I'm pretty nervous.  
> Therefore I'd be really happy about any constructive critisism.  
> (I don't mind compliments as well though lol)  
> My native language isn't english and I have no one to correct it, so feel free to point out any mistakes!
> 
> I will upload the second chapter as soon as I've gotten any kind of reactions/responses to this chapter to see if I even have a small audience.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

We are starting off in a time five years after the war.  
Five years, since Aang and his friends have defeated the Fire Lord and his army.  
To think that they could all go back to being children again would have been plainly naïve.

Come to think of it, their lives weren’t exactly “normal” in the first place before the crack of the iceberg.

Three weeks after Zukos coronation Aang and Katara left together to rebuild the Southern Air Temple with the Air Acolytes, Sokka went back to the South Pole with his father to handle important business over there and Toph and Suki travelled to the Earth Kingdom. Toph was finally ready to sit down for a talk with her parents and had big plans for Eartbenders. Suki and the Kiyoshi Warriors were hired by King Kuei to guard him as he couldn’t trust anyone anymore except for the Avatars friends.  
Zuko, now being the Fire Lord of the Fire Nation, stayed here with Mai and prepared himself for this new chapter of his life. This was all he ever wanted, though he imagined it quite differently before he joined the others.  
He always thought his fate was to capture the Avatar, make his father proud and return home to be the next Fire Lord with his sister by his side. It’s funny how fate works, because now he is on the balcony in his enormous palace with Mai by his side, while his father and sister most likely rot in their cells.  
Of course he wishes it were different. It was never his desire to reign alone in this gigantic palace.  
Sometimes he wishes that they could have been a normal and loving family, like Katara and Sokka with Hakoda, but then he has to remind himself that this is their luck and not his.  
  


_You’re lucky to be born_

  
His life was never meant to be easy, his decisions never meant to be right and who knows how the end of his life will eventually look like.  
But he doesn’t mind, for now. Right now, all that matters is that they _won_ and the war is finally over.  
  
It is still difficult for him to trust his advisors and ministers though. With the big help from Toph, they have managed to select most of Ozai’s followers out of the inner circle, but he knows that they’re not done yet. There are still several, if not thousands, of followers of Ozai and his ideologies. It will be a long and hard ride, but he’ll manage. He will win over the heart of his Nation and be the leader they needed and most importantly deserved for the last 100 years.

“Zuko, are you coming?”  
Mai snapped him out of his thoughts and he turns around and looks at her.  
The last five years Mai has been an amazing and very supportive advisor to him.  
He knows that they barely had any intimate moments alone together, but she either didn’t mind or just never showed it. Politics were always Mai’s thing. She pretends to hate it, but he knows that she likes the control she has and the discussions with advisers, ambassadors or even members of the council. She pretends to hate it, but Zuko always catches the spark in her eyes.  
But of course, she was literally born for this. She grew up with her father preaching about politics. Instead of reading tales before bedtime, he read her the old and new scripts of the treaties.

He looks at her and wonders if she’s happy.  
Truth be told, Mai and Zuko have never been the best at expressing their feelings. They would sometimes have their short moments of softness and tenderness, but those quickly disappear as soon as a guard knocks on the door and escorts the Fire Lord to his next meeting.  
Being the Fire Lord isn’t a job where Zuko can take off the crown after his shift and play happy family with Mai.  
Wanted or not; it’s his identity now and if she wants to be a part of his life, she has to deal with it somehow.

“Sorry,” he says, “I’ve been having problems with this new robe. Does the string go under the back or the front? Does it even go under it? Argh, why do they always have to change everything,” he mumbles as he fiddles with the string of his new robe.

Mai just gives him a faint smile and gracefully walks over to help him out.  
Women must envy her, he thinks. The way she moves with such grace is almost unfair. She always seems so perfect. When you ignore her hatred for everyone, she seems like the perfect woman. She is gorgeous and knows the general etiquette of a noble woman. She doesn’t let ignorant men talk to her like she is just a woman who has no say in anything either. She manages almost every problem Zuko is facing if it comes to the welfare of the Fire Nation.  
And on top of that she also knows how to fight _brutally_ , which she has obviously proven many times before.

“You know, one day you’ll have to learn it. I can’t always help you with your robes. I have more important matters to take care of.” She jokes with no humor in her voice, as always.  
Zuko thinks he has gotten the hang of it to find out when she is serious and when she is joking, but he could be wrong though.

He never had any problems with the lumps he wore when he was a refugee in Ba-Sing-Se. There were no strings that had to be twirled around every part of your body, no complicated way of getting into the rope and no headpiece that had to hold every single stray of hair on his head. His styling advisor always said “One single stray of hair that falls out can destroy your whole appearance!”  
Kind of exaggerated in Zuko’s opinion, but after all there’s a reason he has his own stylist…

After she helps him with his traditional clothing, he holds out a crooked arm for her to link in.  
“Okay, let’s go.” He can’t help but wince.  
“How I hate these Royal Party’s. We’ll immediately leave after the formalities have been spoken.” He says with a straight face.  
“Definitely.”

  
Thankfully, Mai and Zuko never disagree with each other in such matters.

The Party was boring and awkward, like every other Party for Zuko. He still hasn’t accustomed to all these public displays that he has to attend, but he knows he has to. This is a part of him that he has to work on, because being the Fire Lord is all about public display. His people need to see him, need to know that he is _here_ and one of them. They need to see his motivation to make the Fire Nation a better and safe place again. His people shouldn’t be afraid of a second war, they shouldn’t live in constant fear of losing their homes or someone they love. He doesn’t want that anymore and he swore to himself that no matter the strength and sacrifices it’ll cost him, he won’t let his people down.

When they finally go back to their chamber, Zuko rips off his robe and throws it on the bed with a grunt. He definitely needs to get a new one tailored; this one was way too tight.

“Did you see General Lu staring at the Ministers wife the whole time? One more drink and I swear he would have grabbed her and disappeared into the next room.” Mai muses as she takes his robe off the bed, folds it and puts it into the top drawer. He comes up behind her and embraces her in a hug with his head resting against hers.

“I’m pretty sure that there is something going on between them behind closed doors. Don’t want to know how the Minister will react if he finds out.” He retorts and slowly kisses her neck.  
She snorts in agreement and gently pushes him off. “I’m tired,” she says and walks to the door. “I’m going to bed.”  
He sighs and let’s his hands fall to his sides. “Don’t you want to sleep here, next to me, again? It’s been quite a while since we’ve shared a bed…” he trails of.  
 _I sound so pathetic_ , he thinks.

Mai rolls her eyes and just turns her back to him. “You know I hate it when you steal the blankets. And you always wake up too early; I can’t continue my sleep when you wake me up.”  
She gives him one last glance with a small smile. “Goodnight Zuko.”  
As she leaves, he remembers a painful memory.

It was five years ago, after the coronation, when they were promised to each other. The ceremony of their wedding had been delayed several times though, as Zuko barely had time for anything else than repairing the business relations with the other Nations. Mai didn’t mind first, understood that in a Fire Lords life the Nation always comes first, but after three years she unambiguously let him know that she was sick of waiting.  
“It’s about time we finally just get it over with!” she had said.  
“What do you mean get it over with? You sound like you don’t even want this!” He yelled back and she just rolled her eyes at him. He hated it, always felt like a child when she did that.

“Oh please Zuko, you should know how I feel about you by now. Think about the time when I faced your crazy-ass sister, if Ty Lee hadn’t intervened I’d probably be dead. ”  
She walks over to the door and gives him one last stern look. “And even _if_ I didn’t want this, _we_ would still be the only option as Fire Lord and Fire Lady and you know it.” With that, she shut the door with a bang.

Now remembering that last sentence she spit out pains him. He just hopes she’ll come to her senses soon and joins him in their chamber again. As soon as people will notice that she’s sleeping in another chamber, there will be a lot of talking that he’d love to spare them.

With a last sigh, the Fire Lord lies down but has troubles falling asleep.  
It takes him several tries and lots of tossing and turning, but he eventually succeeds.

It’s only the beautiful golden eyes of his mother that can lull him to sleep.

* * *

When Katara and Aang reached the Southern Air Temple almost five years ago, the Air Acolytes had already started with the maintenance work. It took them a while to get everything back on its place, a little bit of earthbending here and a little bit of waterbending there made the progress go faster. But when they were finished and Katara had asked Aang what his plans for the Temple are, he didn’t know how to respond.

“We could make it to a memorial Temple, if you like. That way future Airbenders can come up here and look at the history of their people. They can mourn, learn and find peace.” Katara suggests.  
Aang looks at her with loving eyes but shakes his head. “I don’t want a whole sacred Temple to mourn the dead. I don’t want to be stuck in the past, I want people to start new lives here. I want this place to grow and come alive again, like it used to be. I’m sure that’s what Gyatso and the others would have wanted.”  
When the plans were made, they began to build the new future of the Southern Air Temple.

There wasn’t really much of a choice, but Katara and Aang have decided that as soon as Aang turns 18, which will be in about a year, they will have their ceremonial wedding and start procreating. As the last Airbender of the whole world, the fate of his race was lying heavily on his shoulders.  
In his friends’ opinions, having to recreate a whole race again doesn’t seem like a responsibility a 17 year old should have.  
Isn’t it elusive to think that the Avatar is only 17, yet responsible for such important issues.  
  
After a while, the rose-colored glasses had reached its end and things had started to get dull between the both of them. Aang was so frustrated sometimes, that he needed some time alone and just left for a couple of days to take care of other business.  
At the start of their joint journey, he often brought her along to his expeditions, but now he never asks her anymore.

_It’ll be a quick errand, we won’t even have time to visit anything_

_There’s too much work left to do here_

_I don’t trust them to do things correct without you. I trust you to make sure everything goes well_

_Not this time Katara, sorry_

All these excuses hurt Katara. She feels stuck at the Air Temple, unable to move on her own, unable to help her betrothed to be at peace. When there is no opportunity for her to make sure that Aang has a clear mind and can think straight, it feels like she has no reason to be here.

Aang had changed a lot, the pressure of being the Avatar and the last Airbender at the same time really got a hold of him. He, as the last Airbender, has been busy building his old Temple again but then again as the Avatar he has to attend various meetings a month and travel from one place to another.

She enjoyed travelling with him, because that way she could finally see other people again. As mentioned before, being trapped at the Southern Air Temple isn’t really appealing her, so when Aang mentioned that he has to leave again for a meeting at the Earth Kingdom, Katara’s heart jumps at the thought of seeing Suki and Toph again.

However he seems unsure again.  
“I don’t know Katara. Are you sure you have to come with me?” Aang asks her. “There is still a lot to do here.”  
Katara is already packing her stuff, ignoring the “ _have_ _to_ ” and reaches for her waterskin.  
“I’m sure they’ll be fine without me here. It’s not like there is much I can do anymore after freeing and cleaning the waterfalls or making sure drinkable water is accessible. “  
At the sight of his worried look she hurries over to him and places her hands on his cheeks.  
“I want to see Toph and Suki, Aang. I _need_ to see them.”

He eventually gives in, but she still notices his discontent.

  
The ride on Appa brings back the energy in her.  
She looks at all the places they are flying over with big and sparkling eyes.  
“Look at these beautiful trees and _oh_ \- the village looks so tiny and cozy! We _have_ to visit them when we have the time! Look Aang, look how beautiful this is!” She gleefully winks at a little girl that looks up at them in awe.

After the fifth time of her telling Aang to watch this and look at that, he finally snaps. “ _I know_ , Katara! I’ve been flying these routes for years, I _know_ how everything looks.”

Wow, she didn’t expect it to feel like a slap in the face, but it did.  
She quietly sits back in the saddle and looks straight ahead, now silently admiring the next villages and forests. She hears him sigh in exhaustion and he lightly shakes his head. He murmurs something to Appa and crawls back into the saddle, right next to the girl. She guesses that Appa should know these routes now by heart as well.

“I’m sorry,” he says with a sad smile and lays his hands on her shoulders, “I’m just tired. I see these views all the time and sometimes all of this is too much for me, but… I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. None of this is your fault so you shouldn’t be the one to blame. We can gladly visit the village on the way back.”  
He apologizes again and she half-heartedly smiles at him, kisses the corner of his mouth lightly and puts her feelings aside.  
“It’s okay. I’m sorry if I stressed you out, I should know that you have a lot on your mind. You should get some rest; Appa and I will find the way without your help don’t you worry.”  
With that he gratefully nods and lays down, letting her pull out a blanket and put it over him.

_He’s only 17_ , she thinks, _he can’t do all of this on his own. He needs someone to take care of him._

_-_

They arrive at the Earth Kingdom in the evening and King Kuei greets them along with three Kyoshi Warriors.  
“Ah, the Avatar and his girlfriend!” He exclaims and doesn’t acknowledge Kataras raised eyebrow.  
“Welcome my dear guests, you are free to roam the city and the palace. If you have any desires just call the servants who will be at your service day and night bla-bla-bla you know the drill.”  
Katara chuckles when an unknown Kyoshi Warrior rolls her eyes.  
The King claps his hands together and beams. “We can discuss political matters tomorrow, it’s too late for that now and Bosco and I have plans visiting the market today!”   
He gestures to a young looking servant with auburn hair. “June will show you to your chambers- _Oh_ and if you want to join me and Bosco on our walk you’re obviously invited to!”

Aang respectfully bows to the King and smiles thankfully. “That’s very generous of you, thank you, but the ride has been quite tiring.” The King nods understandably and leaves the room, two Kyoshi Warriors following him on an instant.

Aang lets out a yawn. “I think I’m going to hit the bed. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”  
However the second he turns around, he is startled by the Kiyoshi Warrior that stayed behind.  
“Buh!” She yells and giggles uncontrollably after a pretty high scream escaped Aangs mouth.  
“Spirits, Ty Lee! You almost gave me a heart attack!”  
The jumpy Warrior just laughs and pulls Aang into a tight hug. “I told you I’d still get you the next time!” When she looks behind him she immediately lets go as she spots Katara. “Oh my- _Katara_! You came too!” Full of energy she quickly jumps to Katara, only to pull her into the same strong hug.  
Katara laughs and hugs her back.

It must have been 2 years since she has seen Ty Lee the last time. She didn’t think it was possible to forgive the girl that took her bending away once so soon, but she is just too sweet and makes it very hard not to forgive her. She often reminds Katara of Aang; this sweet, joyful and god hearted aura.   
The Waterbender has managed to put all bad feelings aside when it comes to Mai and Ty Lee, now that everything is for the better. Although it was definitely easier for her to forgive Ty Lee, Mai and her they eventually got around too. After all the knives swinging girl will be the wife of one of her best friends soon, therefore they will be seeing each other a lot more in the future.

“How is it going with the Temple? Is it done yet? Can we come and see? Oh how I would _love_ to visit you already but we’ve still got our hands full with the King and all these boring safety measures.“

Katara chuckles. “I’m not sure the King would want to hear that.”   
Aang interrupts them with a light cough and rubs his dark circled eyes. “I’m going to bed, you two go on and enjoy your reunion.”  
Katara expected him to come and give her a kiss, but he just smiled at them and left the room.  
  
She doesn’t know what kind of face she did that Ty Lee carefully placed a hand on Kataras shoulder and asks her if she is okay.  
Katara hasn’t heard this question in so long.   
“Yes,” she smiles at the girl, “yes I’m okay. Come on let’s get some tea and catch up. And where the hell is Suki?”  
  


They find Suki in the Kings Conference Room, planning new safe rooms and secret tunnels underneath the kingdom. The war might be over and the news alliances with the Fire Nation are in the making, but they have to be prepared for every possible scenario.  
After all the King had tasked the Kyoshi Warriors to make the Palace as safe and secure as possible and everyone knows Suki never does things by halves.  
  
Ty Lees squeaky voice interrupts the leader.   
“Suki, I have a present for you!”  
She doesn’t look up first. “Ty Lee I’m busy, if you bug me with new Make Up tips again I’ll- _Katara_!” She squeals and runs over to embrace the Waterbender in a hug. Suki’s hugs are way gentler than Ty Lee’s, but still tighter than they should be for someone to breathe.   
“What are you doing here? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’re coming with Aang. I would have sent a message to Sokka so he could come too. Don’t tell him I told you, but he won’t stop talking about how he misses you.”

Oh what Katara would give for Sokkas hugs right now.   
No matter how annoying and frustrating her brother can be she doesn’t enjoy anyone’s hugs as much as his. Even when they were little she loved them, they always feel safe and smell like home.

“I miss him too, trust me. It was a last minute decision. How is he doing? How are you two doing? Are father and Gran-Gran well?”  
They talk for what feels like hours about everything, catching up on the latest gossip and what not, when Suki asks her how things are going with Aang and the new Temple.  
It was just a second, really. Just a short second where Kataras smile falters before she puts on a happy face again, but she knows that the two girls noticed it. They never miss _anything_.   
“Everything is going well; we managed to remove most of the damages and built some small houses already. I purified the rivers and cleared the path to the waterfalls, this way they’ll have access to clean water again.” She abstinently scrapes at her fingernails.   
“We are actually making faster progress than planned… but in Aangs opinion we’re still far behind the schedule.” She shrugs with a light laugh but in the eyes of the others she can see that she’s failing miserably.   
Well what was she expecting? Sokka always told her she’d make a horrible actor.   
“Okay, well… is everything okay between the two of you?”  
The concern in Sukis voice suddenly makes everything feel _too much_.

She tries to hold back her tears. “I don’t know, it’s just-“, she stops herself but the girls are looking at her with raised eyebrows.  
 _Just say it._  
“I don’t really feel like myself anymore.” She eventually dares to say. “I feel like- _Tui and La_ \- you guys know that I love Aang and I’m _grateful_ to have him but I- I just feel like I’m only there to take care of him, as if I’m – I don’t know - his mother-” Suki and Ty Lee share a quick glance.   
“-and I feel like he blames me for not making the progress go faster! I know he is the Avatar and I know he has a lot of pressure as the last Airbender to reproduce and build his Nation back to the way it was before but I’m starting to get sick of it. There is nothing I can do than hold his hand or birth his children but-“ she stops, eyes wide, teary and ashamed of herself for what she is about to say “I don’t even know if this is what I really want in life. I wanted to make a change, be a part of it, but it seems like the only value I have is as some kind of assistant.”  
She has her hands in front of her face, ashamed of the words leaving her mouth and confused about her own feelings. The outburst surprises her. She had been dealing pretty well with her hidden feelings. She managed to bottle them up pretty well, but maybe it was the company of the two other girls that made her unable to hold back anymore.  
  
The screeching of chairs make her look up and Ty Lee and Suki have moved right next to her to hold her from each side.  
“Katara, why didn’t you ever say anything?”  
The sniffling girl shrugs. “I barely had the chance to see you guys in person and matters like that shouldn’t be sent back and forth by messenger hawks.” The news of the ungrateful Water Tribe Girl would spread faster than the smell of Sokka’s feet after a sparring unit.

Suki sighs and shares a look with Ty Lee.  
“Listen, we can’t tell you what to do, that is something you have to find out yourself. But… please don’t lose yourself.” With a lightly confused look Katara glances up.  
“You are Katara, everyone who meets you instantly knows that it’s in your blood to help people. I understand that Aang needs your help, after all he is the Avatar and has a lot of responsibilities, but you can help more than just one person. I trust you that you can change a lot, but you need to decide what you really want. Aang is an amazing guy with a lot on his shoulders. Maybe you two just need to talk it out. Let him know how you feel, show him you have these certain wishes that you want to talk about.”  
Ty Lee nods in agreement smiles at Katara. “I mean this is Aang we’re talking about. Bubbly and peaceful Aang; he would never refuse a wish from you!”  
Katara sniffs and smiles at them. “Yes, thank you. You’re right. It is stupid of me not to talk to him about it. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’m happy. I really am.”

The girls chatter for a while, an unsettling feeling resting in all of their hearts, but neither of them brings it up again.

-

The next morning Katara awakes without Aang next to her. He often wakes up earlier than her; he has a lot on his mind and can barely sleep. She throws the covers off of her and gets dressed for breakfast.

As she makes her way down the corridors, she takes a closer look.  
The corridors of the Palace are decorated nicely; the walls are painted dark-green and have small golden details, the carpets on the floor are long and golden, and antique (and surely expensive) vases are placed on top of white stands made of marble. Katara doesn’t even want to imagine the costs if one of those would fall down and shatter.   
_Thank the Spirits Sokka isn’t here_.

She almost reaches the dining hall when she suddenly hears a roaring laugh. With a big smile, Katara runs after the laugh and is met with a sight of Aang stuck in Tophs choke.  
“No matter how tall you are, I still get ya every time Twinkletoes.”  
“T-Toph stop it, you can’t keep doing that I- I’m the Avatar!”  
She must have heard Kataras steps because she looks over to her and smiles. “Sugar Queen! It’s about time you woke up.”  
When the Earthbender let’s go of Aang, Katara crashes into Tophs arms and _Spirits she is almost as tall as me_ , she thinks.  
“Who would have thought that I’d miss you that much?” She muses and reluctantly lets go of Toph.  
“Likewise sweetness, likewise.”

Aang clears his throat with a huff and straightens his robes. “We should head to the Conference Room soon, Toph. I’m sure King Kuei is already waiting for us.”  
Toph nods and punches Katara lightly on the arm. “See ya later! We’ll catch up after the boring meeting.”  
Aang smiles at Katara and kisses her forehead. He doesn’t even have to get on his toes anymore.  
“We can go to the market after the meeting, if you’d like? I heard it’s supposed to be pretty romantic.”  
She smiles in agreement. “I would love to.”

  
After the meeting with Toph and King Kuei, Aang takes Katara out for a romantic stroll at the market. It has already started to get a little dark because the meeting took longer than they had intended it to go. But Katara had been patiently waiting for him in the meantime and distracted herself with a little tour around the Royal Garden.  
It’s a beautiful garden, amazing earth sculptures of the former Kings and Queens with vines beautifully draped around their bodies, but to Katara the most beautiful garden is and probably always will be the garden of the Fire Nation Palace. She will never forget Zuko showing her and Aang the sweet little Turtleducks. No matter the hatred she had still felt back then, there was no denying that this garden is a magical place.  
  
As they are walking down the market and look at various booths, the Airbender picks up a beautifully handcrafted bracelet. It is obviously made of gold, very expensive, and it has a little metal pendant with the shape of a half moon.  
“How much for this one?” He asks the old man behind the stand.   
“It is 3 gold pieces my boy, very expensive but also very unique. There is only one more of this one with the other half of the moon.”   
Aang looks at him in wonder. “Can I have both?”  
The man shakes his head. “I must apologize boy, but the other one is somewhere else, I don’t really know where. Might even be in another Nation.”  
The old man looks at Katara who is standing at another stand, talking to an elder woman. “Trust me boy, it brings wonder for love. I’m sure this sweet Lady would love it and will keep you in her heart forever.”  
Aang looks at him with sparkling eyes and gives him 5 gold pieces. “Keep the change. Thank you and have a nice day.”   
As Aang is walking over to Katara with his new gift, the man looks after him with a speechless expression.  
  
He taps her on the shoulder and holds up the bracelet. “Look what I got for you.”  
It’s precious, she thinks. This is exactly something that Katara would wear, as the moon means everything to her. She leans up a little to kiss his cheek and thanks him. “Can you put it on, please?”  
She observes it as Aang struggles to get it around her wrist and laughs as he finally manages. His face goes red and Katara thinks it’s the sweetest look on him.  
She doesn’t feel the tingle in her gut as she used to in the beginning, but nevertheless there is a lot of fondness. She thinks back to her talk with Suki and Ty Lee and decides to address their problems now.

_Dammit since when am I such a coward?_

“Aang?” She asks him as they continue their walk, almost reaching a big cliff. She looks at their intertwined hands. The bracelet fits perfectly on her petite wrist.   
“Are you happy?”  
He chuckles. “What do you mean? Happy with the way King Kuei’s Minister of Finances can’t stop complaining about the costs for the repair of the wall? No, not really.”  
She thinks for a moment and speaks again, very quietly. “No, actually… I mean happy with me. With us.”  
They stop at the cliff and while she is waiting for an answer, Aang stares in astonishment at the beautiful view.   
“Of course I am what kind of question is that?” When he receives no answer, he looks at her. Her head is down and her eyes fixed on her shoes.   
“Katara?” He worries.  
“I don’t know if you’re really happy, Aang. I don’t know if _I’m_ really happy.” She sees his surprised and worried face and hurries. “At the moment, I mean!” It doesn’t reassure him though.  
“Katara what are you talking about? Aren’t you happy with me?” He looks hurt.  
 _No, no, no this is exactly not what I wanted!_

“No you totally got this wrong, I lo- I _am_ happy with you! I just…” _just say it Katara_ , “I just feel useless. I always thought you and me would travel the world together, help people in times of need, but all I do is stay at the Temple and watch the others build everything the way you imagined it. In the meantime you are always away because of politics. We barely have time for us and I just… _I want to be needed, Aang_. And not just by you when you’re tired and need someone who cooks and cleans for you. I want to be active, politics or unofficially, I don’t care but _please_ give me some work to do.”

She is breathing heavily and looks to her side. She has never felt this uncomfortable and relieved at once. When Aang just looks back at the view and doesn’t say anything, her shoulders sack and she hates herself for speaking up.

After a while though, he finally speaks.  
“Let’s go back inside the palace.” He says and turns to her. “I think I have some matters to discuss with you concerning the plan of finance between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. I could really need someone to mediate between the two Nations. What do you say about that?”  
She exhales with a relieved grin and snuggles up to him, the new bracelet shining with the reflection of the moon.

Aang officially gave her the right to travel to the Fire Nation as his representative to discuss matters with the Fire Lord.  
6 days later, she is gleefully packing her things as Aang comes into their recent chamber.  
“Are you ready? The ship is all sailed and waiting for you. Suki will accompany you; I heard Sokka planned to go to the Fire Nation as well. Said something about the compensation the Fire Nation owes the Southern Northpole. He should arrive a week after you two.”  
Her heart warms at the thought of seeing her brother again. “That’s amazing!”

He watches her pack with an uneasy feeling. He hesitates to ask, but does it anyway.   
“Are you sure about all of this? If you want to wait a couple of weeks, we could go together and I can show you everything first before you dive head first into something you’re not-“  
“I’ll be fine Aang, don’t worry.” She places a hand on his cheek and gives him a quick kiss on his other cheek. He forces out a smile and lets her finish packing.

After almost one week of sailing and waterbending, Suki and Katara finally reach the port of the Fire Nation. Katara barely slept because she was too excited to sleep. The thrill of discussing, negotiating and mediating kept her awake most of the time.

There are several soldiers positioned at the Port, in parallel lines, and even from far away, Katara can see the shiny, golden headpiece of her good friend the Fire Lord. He is standing gracefully in the middle of the dock with his hair up in the usual noble bun. His robe is new, she notices, a very elegant robe colored in red and black with small golden details.

The closer they get, the faster beats her heart, full of joy and excitement.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko has a small secret.  
> Katara and Suki arrive at the Fire Nation.

Zuko knows that what he does right now is stupid and weak. He knows that in some way he is betraying his Nation and his friends, but he still can’t help himself.

There are about two hours every day that he has to himself, where the ministers and the council just leave him be. About two hours where he could take a walk with Mai, relax in the Royal Garden or work on his sword fighting skills which he has neglected almost as much as Mai.

However most of these two hours he spends at least half an hour in the deepest hole of the Fire Nation and in not so royal company with his sister Azula. Thick and robust bars separate them, her hands chained on the corners of both sides.

Sometimes he talks to her.   
Talks about childhood memories they have had back before their father corrupted her mind. He talks to her about every single trip to the Ember Islands, how she proudly built sandcastles on her own and him, being the stupid older brother, stomping on them and destroying them. He tells her about their mother soothing Azula and scolding Zuko. He tells her how jealous he got when Azula bent her first spark of fire at an age way younger than Zuko did. Or for example when they were at the annual Festival of Lights and he carried her on his shoulders so she could see every single fire work. The astonishment and big smile on her face is something he will never forget. She was scared that she’d fall off, but he calmed her.  
  


_Don’t worry, I’ll catch you._   
  


Most of the times when he tells her these stories, she ignores him. Sometimes she mumbles to herself but it is too quiet for him to understand. Sometimes he doesn’t mind, but other times he gets angry at her and snaps.  
 _Why won’t you even try?! Don’t you see that I am?!_

Today was different though. When he finished telling her another story of their first visit to the Earth Kingdom, her eyes suddenly snap up and look at him.  
He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the sudden movement of hers made his heart quicken and he uncontrollably jerked his hands up a little. His brain automatically prepared him to fight.  
His breathing sounds so loud in his head, but maybe it’s just his imagination. He waits in suspense for any other reaction, but she doesn’t move, her eyes still trained on him.  
After what felt like 10 years she just drops her head again, crawls back to the center of her cell and turns around. She is facing the wall and starts to mumble to herself again.

Zuko sighs in disappointment and stands up. He doesn’t know what part of the story made her react for the first time, but he will just keep on trying.  
Two years ago she would have started kicking and screaming, spitting fire in every direction when he only so walked into the room. However now she isn’t lashing out at him anymore, she just crawls away from him into the deepest corner of her small cell.  
It’s a start he thought back then, hoping that whatever was mending between them – _could you even already call it mending?_ –will continue to evolve. He isn’t ready to let go yet.

Although five years ago he was sure he was.   
The second his sister changed the direction of her strike of lightning from him to Katara, he was sure he could peacefully let her rot in the deepest hole of the world with not a scrap of guilt.   
The second she aimed at the waterbender he didn’t hesitate to jump in front of her. He didn’t think; there was no time for thinking.  
The strike was too strong though and he wasn’t prepared that she would use it against the other girl, so there was no concentration to redirect it.  
The voltage streamed through his veins, the collision burned his flesh and electrocuted his entire body.

And then, for a moment, he was somewhere else.

He was somewhere bright and green. There was a small pond with little fish and turtleducks swimming. It was only when he felt grass between his fingers that he realized his laying position. A loud and familiar laughter forced him to sit up and look around.   
It was Azula, but not in her current state. She looked like when she was just three years old, running away from Zuko who was close to catching her. He was younger too, his skin yet untouched by his father’s anger.  
With one last sprint the younger Zuko finally caught his sister and they both fell on the ground with the boy keeping her down to tickle her sides. Azula bubbled out a laugh and squirmed, trying to stop him from tickling her to death.   
It’s a memory, he remembered.  
Out of nowhere Ursa, their mother, was walking towards them and smiled at the sight.  
“Zuko,” he heard her call, but the children weren’t reacting and continued their play. She repeated his name and the older Zuko stood up. His heart was aching, why won’t his younger self answer her? He wanted to scream, call out for her to let her know that he is here and he can hear her, but it’s like he had lost his voice. When he tried to call out for her, nothing came out.  
Suddenly the white sky became darker each second and his mother’s head snapped over to him and he froze. She looked him sternly in the eyes. Her mouth was moving, but the voice he heard didn’t belong to her anymore.  
“ _Zuko_!”  
It was a beautiful and sweet voice, so familiar yet he couldn’t quite put a name on it.  
When he heard the same voice screaming his name over and over again he turned back to the children and saw Azula looking at him. There was no longer the little girl with a toothy grin; she was replaced with an older Azula looking at him with the same stern expression as their mother.  
He had no idea what was happening, he felt a thick emotion of fear poisoning his body. A strong pressure on his stomach made it hard for him to breath and suddenly everything went into a blur. His mother and sister were fading away and he tried to hold them back, he screamed and tried to reach out for them. But they were gone and he was sucked into a deep black hole.  
“ _Zuko_ ,” it was that sweet voice again and this time he remembered.  
  
Now she was standing there, right in front of him, and held out her hand.   
_“Zuko, please come back.”  
_  
Her deep blue eyes drew him to her and when he reached for her hand; everything went dark.

But he felt much lighter.

A rusty shackle of Azulas cuffs tears him out of his memory and he looks at her in an instant. Her body is still facing the wall with no intention of acknowledging his presence anymore. Zuko stands up with a sigh and looks out of the tiny window.

The sun almost sets, he notices. He needs to hurry or he’ll miss Katara’s arrival.

The moment she jumps off the small ship she is slowly walking towards him and he walks towards her. They are standing in front of each other and share a smile.  
“Hey,” she says.  
“Hey,” he repeats.

After all these years he is still unsure how to act around her. Ever since she forgave and hugged him after their trip to find her mother’s killer, Yon Rha, he continues to walk on tip toes around her. He found a profoundly good friend in Katara and he didn’t want to lose it by any chance. Therefore he is still unsure of how to act around her. He doesn’t want to anger her and a big part of him still feels ashamed and somewhat responsible that she lost her mother by the hands of his Nation.   
However, they both share a sad story regarding their mothers and he never felt as comfortable and secure talking about it as with her. She understands the pain and even though he wishes that she didn’t have to, it still feels nice to have someone knowing how you feel.  
  


So as they are standing there, face to face, he doesn’t know what to do.  
He doesn’t know if he should hug her, shake her hand or just wave his hands in a greeting but not even two seconds pass as she makes the decision for him. She slowly comes closer, spreads her arms and takes him in into a tight hug. Her head is pressed against his chest and she feels his heartbeat against her cheek.

He tenses first; not expecting her to indulge him into a hug at the slightest, but eventually wraps his arms around her. If it weren’t weird he would tell her that she still smells as amazing as she used to all these years ago. But he figures that it would indeed be kind of weird.

They are interrupted by Mai’s voice. “It surely has been a while.”   
They let go of each other and turn to Mai. She is standing there with a small smile on the corner of her lips. “Welcome,” she says and walks over to the Waterbender to give her a quick hug.  
Katara smiles back and shakes her head. “I can’t believe that I haven’t seen you in three years. The short hair looks very pretty on you.” She compliments her.  
  
When Suki gets off the ship and they all say their _hello’s_ and _wow you changed a lot’s,_ the guards lead them back into the Palace.

Katara isn’t used to an escort anymore, the Southern Air Temple usually doesn’t have any other people than the Air Acolytes there and they all love Katara and Aang for what they do. But here, despite the war being over since 5 years, some Fire Nation citizens are still opposed to the idea of a peace treaty between the four nations.   
Last year a group of rebels tried to attack the palace and stage a coup, but thankfully someone of the White Lotus had overheard the rebels talking about it before and quickly informed Iroh.  
Zuko and Mai had been sheltered in a bunker until it was over and Azula and Ozai were hidden in secret cells under the earth not far away from the couple.

As the four of them are being escorted to the palace, Katara takes in the beauty of the Fire Nation. She must admit that before befriending Zuko, the Fire Nation was the ugliest and worst place in her opinion. But even back then, when she was in the Fire Nation with Sokka, Aang and Toph, she didn’t want to admit to herself that it actually was pretty beautiful. So many colors and so many new scents made it almost impossible to hate it, but every time she was about to admit it to herself a Fire Nation soldier destroyed the picture.  
Katara shakes her head. She has to stop thinking about the old Fire Nation. They are now thankfully reined by someone who cares about peace and honor.

She looks over at Zuko and grins. “I see your hair has gotten even longer now.”  
The Fire Lord looks back at her with a surprised expression and smiles sheepishly. “Yes, well, it’s tradition.” He shrugs, “I’m surprised you have your hair in Fire Nation style.”  
She reaches for the two thick braids that hang down loosely on each side. “I thought I should adapt and show your people my respect… But saying it out loud makes me realize that it sounds kind of stupid.” She doesn’t know why her cheeks suddenly heat up. Maybe it’s the sudden change of climate. After all it’s not as hot at the Temple as it is here.

“No, not at all! It’s very nice of you to think that way. I like it.”  
It reminds him of the time back then.

As they continue to walk they faintly hear Suki and Mai behind them talking about Ty Lee and the Kyoshi Warriors.

When they reach the Palace, Katara and Suki are brought to their prepared chambers to get ready for a late night dinner.  
When she opens the closet, Katara isn’t surprised to see a set of Fire Nation clothes inside. She knows that Zuko would never force her to wear something she doesn’t want to, but it’s only common that you offer your guests clothes of your nation.  
She thinks for a moment.  
It has certainly been quite a while she has last worn something in red. At the Temple she often wore her usual watertribe clothing and on traditional occasions for the airbenders, she wore yellow and orange. But red had been something she didn’t even consider there.   
She holds the red silk in her hands and looks into the mirror.

Not today, she thinks. Maybe tomorrow.

At dinner there aren’t many people. In fact it’s only her, Suki, Zuko and Mai.  
There was a lot of talking at first, lots of catching up on how far they have gotten with the Temple, how the economics of the Fire Nation has developed and how exhausting King Kuei can be when it comes to serious conversations about why bears should have the same rights as humans.  
But after the main course was served, the conversations died down. Mai didn’t talk much during the whole dinner, only when Suki mentioned Ty Lee, but when the desert came in she stood up.   
“I’m going to my chamber; there is still some paperwork I should finish before I go to bed. I hope you enjoyed the meal. Have a good night.”  
With a last small bow she left the room and it was quiet again.

“She doesn’t like desert.” Zuko explained and they left it at that.

When they finished their delicious desert, Suki went to bed and wished them both a good night. Now it’s only Katara and Zuko in the dining hall and somehow the tension has left the room as well.

Zuko looks at her for a moment before speaking up.   
“I still can’t believe that we haven’t seen each other for three years now. Aang visited us a couple of times but you never joined him. How come?”

“I was pretty busy at the Temple,” she partly lies. “It just never was the right timing.”  
When he hums in acknowledgement she looks down at her empty glass.  
“You know,” she starts, “sometimes all of this feels so surreal.”

“What do you mean?” There are two seats between them and he lays his arm on the one next to him.

She waves her hands around. “All of this. I mean you are the Firelord, Toph has her own Earthbending Academy, Aang is rebuilding the Temple and his culture, and Suki and Sokka are warriors respected all around the world.”

He thinks for a moment and chuckles. “We have become quite impressive people when you say it like that.” He looks at her and cocks his head to the side. “But you forgot to mention yourself.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah of course.”

Something about the way she said it like that doesn’t sit right with him. It might be the uninterested change of tone.

“What? So being the most powerful waterbender of the whole world isn’t good enough now?” He says is with a chuckle to lighten the mood but Katara just smiles half-heartedly and shrugs.

“I’m not saying that it’s nothing, but... I don’t know.”

Zukos chair screeches as he stands up and takes the seat right next to her.  
“Is everything alright?”

She doesn’t dare to look up and keeps her gaze on her fingers.   
“I’m just tired. It was a long way and the nervosity I’m feeling because of the meeting in two days is still kicking.” Now she looks up and gives him her best smile. “Thank you for your concern but everything is alright. How are you though, are you handling all the duties well?”

Now he is the one waving his hand. “You know me, I’d probably be dead by now if I didn’t have Uncle and Mai counsel me.” He lets out a huff in amusement. “I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t have been better to give Azula the throne. She always understood a lot more than me concerning political matters.”

At the mention of Azula he mentally curses. He immediately notices Katara stiffen.

“Is she still in jail?”

He nods.

“Do you… visit her?”

It takes him a couple of seconds to think and he eventually decides to lie.   
“No, not yet.”

Katara just hums and looks down at his hands. Now he is playing with them.  
“I think you should maybe visit her.”

“Why?”

“Because she is your sister? I mean, don’t get me wrong I still don’t like her, after all she tried to kill us all - _multiple times_ – but by now we all know her mind was obviously corrupted by your father. Now that he doesn’t have access to her anymore you could try to remind her that you two are still family. That, maybe, she didn’t lose everything after all.”

To say that Zuko is surprised about her sudden change in opinion would be an understatement.  
He remembers the Katara that struck down his sister in the most epic battle ever, full hatred in her eyes for her before they turned into worry for him.

“I’m confused, why would you think like that now? I thought you hate her and want her dead?”

“I never wish for anyone’s death!” She squeaks in horror.

“You did for Yon Rha.”

She didn’t expect him to say that. It kind of hurts that he used that particular issue as an argument, but he is right. She did use to wish him the most painful death, preferably by her hands.

“Yes, you’re right. But that was the one and only time I did. But you know that even though I had the chance to do it, I didn’t.”

“You’re right, you didn’t. I’m sorry, that was inappropriate of me to bring up. I just don’t know what to do with her. I don’t know if I could handle her corrupted mind. I was thinking about having a healer to talk to her once in a while. You know those kinds of healers that talk to you and try to heal your heart and mind.”

“The word you are looking for is therapist, I think.”

“Yes, thank you. What do you think of that?”

Katara doesn’t like Azula, it’s no secret, but as a healer she doesn’t want people to be hurt. And she believes that Azula is profoundly hurt and scarred in her heart and mind.   
“I think it’s a good idea. I could ask some of the healers I know for recommendations.”

He gives her a sincere smile and stands up. “It’s pretty late, you mentioned earlier that you’re tired and here I am keeping you from your sleep.”

He is walking her to her room and tells her about the plans for tomorrow.  
“After breakfast we have to look over the newly formed contracts. Kuei’s finance advisor suddenly decided that the Earth Kingdom won’t give any more money to the rebuilding of the destroyed homes and the wall. I drafted some new proposals to which they hopefully say yes to. I’d like for you to proofread them and tell me what you think.”

It feels exciting to her that someone would want her opinion on such important matters, but she doesn’t show it and just nods with a serious face.

“Afterwards I have to attend a school play in the city. They are doing a play in honor of me and I promised to be there.”

Katara looks at him with a fond grin. “That sounds adorable! I’m sure it will be great.”

He remembers her being so ecstatic about the play back at the Ember Island, before it turned out to be the worst _ever_ , and figures that she likes theatre plays.

“Would you like to come?”

The question surprises her and she beams. “Yes! I’d love to see that.”

“Great,” he says as they reach her chamber, “Mai will be glad to have someone to talk to there. I’ll let you and Suki know about the departure time tomorrow at breakfast. Good night Katara.”

With a last smile she watches him walk away and it’s only when he’s out of sight that she opens her door and gets in.

She doesn’t know why she was surprised to hear about Mai and Suki coming along. After all, Mai is his betrothed; of course she would come to a play honoring her future husband.  
Maybe she just really missed her old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> I'm still a bit insecure about the part of Zukos memory but this chapter was long due so yeah...
> 
> I'm happy for every kind of feedback, thanks <3


	3. Young and Lost

Katara had probably the best sleep in _years._  
The bed in her chamber has two matrasses piled up and the most comfortable silk sheets she has ever felt before.  
So it was quite obvious that it took Suki a while to pull Katara out of bed.   
“Come on Katara, we’re going to be late for breakfast because of you.”

With a yawn, Katara slowly drags her feet on the side of the bed and rubs her eyes.  
“Yeah yeah, ‘m coming.” With a little disoriented look her eyes finally land on Suki. The warrior is standing next to Kataras wardrobe with an impatient look and her hands on her hips.

The waterbender rolls her eyes and finally stands up to get ready for breakfast.  
“Now I know what Sokka meant when he said you hate being late.”

She was surprised though, she hadn’t had a sleep that deep for a long time now.  
Aang often has nightmares that wake her up in the middle of the night and she could only go back to sleep when she was sure that he was fast asleep. Afterwards she often fell asleep in an instant, but some nights her body would strike and have her stay up all night.

Truth be told, when she got ready for bed yesterday, she thought Aangs absence would make it harder to fall asleep. It was a ritual of theirs; she would lay with her back against him and he would snuggle up to her, clinging firmly on her. It would be like this every single night, he _needed_ to hold onto her.

But now, sleeping alone in this large bed, Katara had all the space she didn’t know she needed.  
Of course it was nice to lie next to Aang, to feel his warmth against her sides, but after a while it wasn’t comfortable anymore to sleep in the same position every night. So she would wait until he was asleep and carefully squirm out of his grasp to breathe.

She didn’t think it was that easy to sleep without him, but here she was now thinking exactly that.

Breakfast was pretty quiet except for the chinking of the plates and glasses.  
Katara knows that Mai isn’t really talkative but it honestly made her feel a lot more uncomfortable than she imagined. She has no idea what kind of fate brought Zuko and Mai back together, but it surely must be an interesting one. Yes, Zuko is known to be moody and quiet too, but she knows that he can be very different when he’s with the right people. He can be an amazing story teller, his laugh is the most infectious laugh Katara has ever heard and _for Agnis sake_ he even manages to tell a joke without mixing it up and making everyone laugh.

She looks over to where Mai and Zuko are sitting next to each other. Zuko is sniffing at a soup he’s never tried before and winces. A small gag escapes his mouth and for the first time in a while Katara sees Mai suppress a laugh behind her hands.

He can be open with the right people, she thinks, and maybe Mai can too.

With a confused wrench in her gut, she looks back to her food and takes the last piece of the smoked fish in her mouth.

Zuko clears his throat to get everyone’s attention and wipes his mouth with his napkin.  
“The plan for today is the following; first Katara and I are going to discuss some new contracts, afterwards Suki, Chief Lao and I will be discussing safety measures and in the evening Mai and I are guests at a school play in the Royal Academy.”  
He smiles at Katara and Suki. “You two are obviously invited too.”

“Thanks,” Suki says, “but I have to pass. I need to prepare some work for my one-on-one meeting with Chief Lao. There is a lot to do, trust me Zuko, your Nation’s security force could use some more strategies and organization. “

He squints at her. “You’re here for a reason, aren’t you?”

Suki laughs and salutes.

“Alright then it’s just the three of us.” The Fire Lord says and sends them all a quick nod before standing up.

When Katara is sitting in front of Zuko, rummaging through the old and the new contracts on his desk, she can’t help but glance over to him once in a while.  
Or maybe she did it more often than she thought, because Zuko suddenly looks up at her and tilts his head to the side.  
“Do I have something on my face?”

It’s such an unexpected question that Katara can’t help but laugh. She feels like she was caught in an inappropriate moment, but somehow it was still funny to her. As if looking at her friend is illegal.

“No, no, you’re good. I’m sorry I just haven’t seen you in so long and it’s still unusual to see you so… mature.” She whispers the last word and looks him in the eyes. She can see a blush forming on his cheeks and can’t help but smile.  
At least there’s one thing that would never change; Zuko being the awkward boy she grew to be fond of.

“I’m sure it’s just the beard I’m trying to grow.” He absently scratches the stubble on his cheeks.  
Trying is well said, she thinks. It might have taken him a long time to grow this one, but Aang still doesn’t have any sight of stubble on his face.

“It’s not just the beard, although it does make much more of a difference.” She puts the contract in her hand on the left side of the table and takes one from the right side. “Why are you even trying to grow one?”

He takes the one Katara put on the left side and controls it. “I don’t know, tradition I guess. Every important man in my life has one. It’s usual for us to grow a long beard and have long hair. Don’t ask me why though, I never understood it either.”

With raised eyebrows, Katara looks back at the scripts and doesn’t say anything.  
He notices that and puts the contract down.

“Don’t you like it?”

Her heart starts to beat just a little faster than normal when she looks up to him and finds him staring at her.

“No, no! It… it suits you. I mean it’s different, but it suits you.” She lies without missing a beat.

After one last glance at her, Zuko huffs out a chuckle and signs the scroll in his hand.  
Suddenly Katara doesn’t feel so sure anymore that he actually believes her. Look at her, on a business meeting with an old friend, insulting his hairstyle. How professional.

They don’t talk about private matters after that anymore, once or twice he tells her to rewrite a phrase like this or put a punctuation mark like that, but apart from this there is silence.  
It takes them about four hours to decide, change, add and erase paragraphs before they are finally finished and Zuko is satisfied with the outcome.  
When he stacks and then wires the contracts together with a rope, Katara stands up and stretches with a loud groan.

“If Kuei and his idiot advisors won’t accept this offer then _I’ll_ declare war before we’ll have to work on _that_ again.”

Zuko can’t help but grin at that. “Good luck fighting the entire earth army with your few watertribe men.”

“Excuse me?” She squints at him with her hands on her hips. “You shouldn’t underestimate my _few_ watertribe soldiers. Besides,” she shrugs, “I’ll have the Fire Nation on my side too.”

Now it’s his turn to squint his eyes as he pushes his chair back to the table. “Mhm, and why exactly do you think that we would help you?”

Katara twines her hands behind her back and sways her shoulders like a little child. Her eyes blinking mistakenly innocent. “Because you owe me big time for saving your life and you don’t want to get on my bad side.”

Now he lets out a laugh. “If you’re talking about the time when you froze the big foxwhale just before I was able to kill it then no,“ he smirks, “I don’t owe you at. I could have killed it if you had given me one more second.”

“Oh _please_ , you looked so scared I thought you’d shit your pants right there.”

“I did not! I was just waiting for it to come close enough to get the better shooting angle.”

“Mhm, did you now?”

“Yes, I _did_.”

A knock on the door startles them and they notice that they were pretty close. In fact they were so close she could even feel him breathing on her face. His body heat was probably radiating off on her because suddenly it seems like the room is on fire.  
They both laugh and Zuko calls the person in.

It’s Mai at the door, telling them that they need to get themselves ready for the play.

Zuko thanks Katara for her help and then she is alone in the room, her heart slowly but surely beating in its usual rhythm again.

-

When Katara is done with her make-up and her change of clothes, she meets the others at in the main hall. Zuko and Mai are already waiting for her and she apologizes for the delay.  
As they are being escorted to the city, she takes a look around the city. The carriage is fast, but she can still take in the beauty and scents of the streets. They drive past a small flower market and Katara takes in a deep breath to archive the mixed smell of the several flowers. When they pass a small house with its door open, the smell of freshly cooked food makes her stomach grumble.   
She imagines growing up in these streets, seeing the children play on the street, the mothers cooking together for their big families and the fathers coming home from work and kissing their wives hello.

They arrived at the theatre just in time to take their places in the upper box, separated by the common citizen sitting under them.  
The teacher nervously held a speech, thanking the Fire Lord and the Fire Lady for their presence and for bringing a guest; the world known best waterbender Master Katara.   
Katara blushed and respectfully bowed her head.

The children started off with reenactments of times when Zuko and Iroh were refugees in Ba Sing Se, protecting and helping the people with their fake identities as Lee and Mushi. Some of the stories were exaggerated and Zuko would squirm in his seat in moments like them. It felt weird, being portrayed as the hero of the story. Normally the people see Aang as the hero and savior of the world, but these children obviously had been taught differently. It might be unfair to Aang, but right there, Zuko enjoyed the short moment of appreciation towards him and only him. The feeling of being loved and seen as the true hero.

When they came to the part of the Agni Kai between him and Azula, he couldn’t help but feel slightly irritated. They made her seem like a maniac. The child playing Azula had foam around her mouth and started blasting small streams of fire around with an ear piercing scream as she was chained to the ground.   
Zuko knows that their interpretation of Azula isn’t wrong. She is crazy, but it still stings to see his usually graceful and feared sister being portrayed like that. After all she was only fourteen.

When the actress that played Katara ran back to the Zuko actor, who was unconsciously laying on the floor, she dramatically dropped next to him and cradled his upper side of his body into her lap.  
“Oh Prince Zuko, you sacrificed yourself to save me, a simple peasant! You’re my hero, I will never be able to repay you for this! You are the savior of the Fire Nation; all hail Fire Lord Zuko!”

In the upper box, Zuko and Katara blush at the scene .  
Zuko sits between the two women and coughs lightly as the the Katara actress presses herself against the waking Zuko actor.

“Wow, were you really _that_ dramatic?” Mai asks Katara lamely without sparing her a glance.  
“Of course not!” To her surprise it was Katara and Zuko that answered in unison.

When the play ended, Zuko went to the stage to thank the children and handed each of them a floral bouquet. Katara watched him enact with the children and couldn’t help but imagine him as a father with his own children. It would really suit him, she thinks.

“Ugh, when are they done with the formalities? I can’t wait to go home.”

Katara looks at Mai and frowns. “I think it’s sweet.”

Mai rolls her eyes and glances shortly at the waterbender from the side.  
“Of course you do.”

-

As they are on their way back to the Palace, Zuko can’t help but let a smile grace his lips. Tonight was actually nice.  
It was nice, not having his former mistakes displayed over and over again in front of him. Back at Ember Island when they were seeing the stupid play it was just a portrayal of every mistake he has made before joining Team Avatar. But tonight it wasn’t like this. Tonight, the children showed him how _they_ see him. They see him as the one that saved many people, Katara and the Fire Nation.  
He doesn’t know why it’s so important to him all of sudden, but this play actually made him feel good about himself.

He is looking out of the carriage and watches the children playing on the streets and their parents calling them back in for dinner.   
One boy looks back at him and for a second Zuko freezes as they make direct eye contact. The boy must be about six years old, has deep black hair and is being dragged back into the house. Just before his mother has him fully dragged into the house, the boy smiles and waves at Zuko.  
He didn’t expect it, so it takes him a couple of seconds to react before he finally holds up his hand and waves back. When the mother shuts the door, Zuko slumps back with the same smile on his face and takes a look around the carriage.   
Mai is sitting next to him, her head turned to the side of the window on her side and her hands clasped tightly on her lap. Not once did he ever see her sitting informal in any way. She is too perfect for that.

When he looks over to Katara, who is sitting right in front of Mai, he notices that she is sleeping. This day must have tired her out, after all she’d been sitting in his office with him for hours to finalize the contracts and then there was the play that also took quite some of their time.  
He runs his eyes over her body and is surprised to see the Fire Nation dress on her. How he didn’t notice it sooner he has no idea, but _now_ he notices that it actually really suits her. The golden arm rings that are draped around her arm fit her perfectly, just as the dark red dress she is wearing. It has a slit right under the curve of her breasts and over her navel which makes it riskily revealing, but the long material hiding her legs helped keeping seductive and formal balanced.  
His face heats up as Katara stirs for a second and his eyes run up to her face again to make sure she hasn’t caught him staring. But the girl just calmly continues to sleep much to his pleasure.  
To think of another woman when his betrothed is sitting right next to him, he feels ashamed.  
  


It takes him some time before his body cools off, but when Katara wakes up and smiles at him he has to take Mai’s cold hands into his before his body would heat up again.

He ignores the questioning look he receives from Mai about this sudden display of affection.

It’s late when they arrive back at the Palace and when Mai leaves to go to her own room, Zuko is restless.  
After tossing and turning around he angrily throws the silk sheets off of him and grabs his night robe.  
He walks and walks until he is outside of the Palace and calls to a guard for an ostrichhorse.  
When he reaches his destination, another guard positioned there takes the leash and holds the ostrichhorse as Zuko jumps down.  
He enters the dungeon and walks deep into it, keeping the fire in his hands up so see properly.  
Finally he arrives at the cell and moves the fire forward to see his sister laying on the floor. Her eyes are already fixed on him.

“You’re awake,” he states but gets no response. Of course.

He sits down cross legged in front of her and takes a small book out of his pocket. With his head low and a secret glance towards her, he tries to catch any change of emotion. But her eyes stay fixed on him.

“Do you know what this is?” He asks her calmly as he is flipping through some pages.  
As expected, she doesn’t answer so he continues. “This is mothers collection of her own poems. She started writing them after we were born.”  
He narrows his eyes as he finally finds the one he was looking for. He closes his eyes and tries to ignore the ache in his heart.  
“You think mother hated you because she once called you a monster, but if you would take a look at these poems, you’d notice that _you and I_ were everything she ever truly loved.”

As he opens his eyes and looks at her, Azula is still facing him, but he notices the reflection of anger in her eyes.

He got a reaction. So he read one out loud.  
  


_“I’ve seen your struggles  
and I’ve heard your silent tears.  
I’ve bathed in your laughter  
and stood against your fears.  
I’ve cherished every minute of every year.  
You are my love, my life  
the spirits gift.  
My precious daughter  
I will forever hold you dear.”_

When he’s done, it’s quiet.  
He doesn’t say a thing and neither is she. Both siblings are staring into each other’s eyes, waiting for the other to cave in first.  
To his surprise Azula is the one who breaks the eye contact first as she suddenly lets out a pained scream and throws her empty water cup in his direction. It was with full force, but the bars are thick enough to make it scatter against them. Frustrated she screams again and turns away from him. Her shoulders are shaking and she starts mumbling to herself again. This time he can hear small, shaking sobs coming from her.

He sighs and stands up, placing the book back into his pocket.  
“I will come back again and read them all to you, whether you like it or not. Maybe then you’ll start talking to me again.”

Her sobs become more rigid and louder that he wishes her a good night and turns to leave.   
He can’t bear hearing his broken little sister crying like this.

As he is walking away from her, the light slowly disappears and all that is left in this cold cell are the sobs of a young and lost woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, poor poor Azula.  
> I originally found this poem on pinterest by unknown but changed it up a little bit to make it fitting.
> 
> Sorry for the late update btw, I'm sick and this headache makes it hard for me to write.
> 
> I'm happy to hear what you think of this chapter <3


	4. Letters

When the big door of the main hall opens and a servant comes in, Katara and Suki look up from their pai sho board.

“Lady Katara, your brother’s ship has arrived.”

The two women look at each other and beam.

As soon as the ships platform comes down, Sokka can barely take two steps forward before he is greeted with a bone crushing hug. It takes him a second to realize what is happening as he hears his sisters voice muffled into his chest.

“I missed you so much.”

He lets his bags fall to the floor and wraps his arms around his sweet little sister. Spirits how she’s missed this. It’s been years since she has seen him last. Being busy rebuilding an entire nation, didn’t really give her much time to visit her family back in the South Pole. She often hoped for them to visit her, but Sokka and their father had their own hands full with the stabilization of the South Pole, making it more secure for future attacks.  
At the beginning it was hard for Katara, being separated from her family again, but after a while the hard work at the Air Temple distracted her from missing them. However, having her head nuzzled into Sokkas chest again and just smelling _home_ is so overwhelming for her that she can’t hold back the tears.

When they break away from each other, Katara wipes away the tears threatening to fall. She takes a look up at her brother and grins. Back when they parted, her brother was just a finger length taller than her and had a lanky figure. Now however standing in front of her was a man with structured cheekbones as well as a broad and heavily muscled figure.

“I can’t believe that it took us so long to meet again.” Even his voice is a lot deeper than before.   
Katara shakes her head in disbelief and can’t keep the grin off her face. When she takes a step back, Sokka looks behind her and smiles softly.  
“Suki.”

The Kyoshi Warrior blushes and walks towards him.  
“It’s good to see you again Sokka.”

Their hug is shorter than Katara expected, but out of joy of seeing her brother again she just grabs his hand and starts to pull him behind her.  
“There is so much I have to show you! It was hard for me to admit it first, but Sokka the Fire Nation is so _beautiful_!”

Katara doesn’t notice the guards’ raised eyebrows, Sokka however does and mouths a pitiful “ _sorry”_.

“So, how has the Fire Lord been treating you?”  
It was hard to understand her brother first, his mouth full of various dishes, but she eventually did and was now smiling. The servants were coming and out of the kitchen, permanently bringing new plates of Fire Nation delicacies to the water tribe soldier.

“Zuko and his staff are very welcoming and generous. I must say, a small change of scenery really does me good.”

Sokka puts a piece of a roasted chickenbuffalo in his mouth and nods. “That’s good, that’s good. I heard you came here because of a meeting for Aang. How did that go?”

The waterbender grins proudly and takes a sip of her wine. She tells her brother about the meeting. She tells him how nervous she was but Zuko helped her calm down. She tells him how one of the annoying ministers complained about why the Avatar sent his _girlfriend_ here instead of attending a meeting of such importance not himself. She also tells him how she was just _this_ close to splashing the ministers’ wine right up through his nose, but Zuko handled the situation very calmly, explaining that she isn’t here as the Avatars girlfriend, but as his representative. The Avatar had several other meetings to attend; therefor he wasn’t able to make it. When the minister just huffed in annoyance, the Fire Lord expressively stated not to question the Avatars judgment whether Master Katara is an appropriate representative or not. That seemed to shut them up and in the end, Katara absolutely mastered the meeting and her valid arguments, much to the one ministers displease.

Sokka laughs and nearly chokes on the meat when she is done and claps his hands together.  
“That’s my sister! I knew you’d crush it.” His face softens and he becomes slightly serious when he puts his warm hand on her shoulder. “I’m very proud of you sis. I think it was a good decision to go out again, I mean how long were you stuck at the Temple? Too long for my liking.”

Katara shrugs. “I had work to do, they needed me.” _Aang still needs me_.

“Yeah but didn’t you always want to travel more? I mean there are so many people out there that you could help too without staying in one place your whole life.”

“What is this now, an intervention?” She asks, feeling irritated by her brothers choice of tone.  
“I was there because I _wanted_ to be there. I can go wherever I want to, I’m here now aren’t I?”

Sokka chuckles dryly. “Well then I wonder why you never cared to visit us at home. We visited you twice and it takes us way longer by ship than it takes you two on Appa.”

He is right, she knows that. At first they visited her and Aang twice at the Tempel, even her old Gran-Gran came despite her age, but she never once returned home to see them there. How could she when Aang needed her there?

“You’re right and I hate it.” She sighs.

“I know and I love it,” her older brother says with a triumphant grin.  
As he pushes his plate away from him, leans back in his chair and puts his feet in a relaxing way on the table, the big door opens. The siblings turn their heads to see Mai standing there.

“Welcome Chief Sokka, the Fire Lord will be with you in a second.” She glances over to his feet on the table and then back to him. It doesn’t take him a second to remove his feet off the table with a sheepish grin. When Mai turns to a young, male servant and gives him orders, Sokka secretly turns to his sister.

“After all these years I can’t help but still feel _terrified_ of her.”

Katara puts a hand over her mouth and chuckles quietly.

When Zuko enters the room, he looks stressed and has darker rings under his eyes than the last few days. He and Mai share a short look and when Mai rolls her eyes at him she turns to leave. Zuko snorts in annoyance and takes off his cloak, throwing it at the servant.

“Are they always communicating like that?”

Sokkas whispering makes Zuko look up again and suddenly he doesn’t look so tired anymore.

“Sokka!” They walk towards each other and embrace in a brotherly hug.

“Zuko, brother, I must say you look _terrible_. When was the last time you’ve seen the sun?”

The Fire Lord grumps at Sokkas remark and throws himself down on a seat.

“Funny for you to say, when was the last time you had another manicure? Your hands look quite rough.”

“That was _once_ and I already told you I was _tricked_!”

“Oh yeah right, tricked by little farmer girls.” Zuko holds up his hands. “No need to feel ashamed, each to their own.”

The two men laugh as Katara adoringly takes their banter in.   
She truly missed this. She missed their gang being together and bantering. After the war was ended, everything seemed to go too fast. It went too fast when Zuko was crowned Fire Lord, Toph went back to her parents to build an Academy, Sokka built the South Pole and became Chief, Suki went back to Kyoshi and Katara and Aang to the Air Temple.  
Katara doesn’t want the time to go so fast, they are all separated from each other, scattered in every Nation of the world.

The sun began to set when the two swordsmen were finishing their sparring session outside in the royal courtyard. Katara and Suki are sitting on the side, casually sipping on their iced drinks to balance the heat.  
When Zuko looks up at the sun setting, he slides his swords back in and wipes the sweat off his forehead.  
“I guess it’s time to stop and head to bed soon. I have three meetings and one is in the morning.”

Sokka snorts and rolls his eyes. “Yeah right, _just_ as I was about to win.” He picks up his sword belt and puts it back around his waist. “Can you show me where the servants put my stuff?”

“Oh, I had them put it in Suki’s room.”

Behind him, Sukis head shoots up. They share a quick glance and Sokka scratches the back of his head.  
“Oh,uhm well...”

“Oh come on Sokka, you’re both adults, it’s not like no one knows you’ve shared a bed before. We’re not so strict about that here in the Fire Nation.”

“No it’s just,” Sokka slightly looks over to Suki and then back to Zuko, “we aren’t really dating anymore.”

Both, Zuko and Katara, perk up at that and Sukis rolls her eyes.  
“Wow, way to make it as low-key as possible.”

“What- Suki why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Katara looks at the warrior with a shocked expression.  
Said warrior just shrugs uncomfortably and puts a strand of hair behind her ears. “It just happened. I didn’t want to shout it from the rooftops.”  
The waterbender puts a hand over the Kyoshi warriors hand and squeezes lightly. “No matter, you’ll always be my sister.”

As the two girls smile at each other and continue talking, Zuko talks to Sokka.  
“I’m sorry, had I known this sooner I wouldn’t have-“  
“I know,” interrupts Sokka, “we just didn’t want to make it a big deal. It was a mutual agreement and we still write letters to each other. We’re remaining as friends, I think.”

Zuko puts an assuring hand on Sokkas shoulder and Sokka grins at him.  
“Can’t keep this handsome piece of art away from the girls now, can I?”  
Zukos hand slips up and he gives the Chief a whack against the back of his head.

“Let’s go to bed you idiot.”

-

Katara receives a letter from Aang and reads it as she is making her way to the royal garden.  
He is telling her about how well the progress is going and that soon they would be done with the construction works. Several new people had arrived at the Temple to become Acolytes, ready to dedicate their lives to the culture of the air nomads. She could feel his joy about it radiating off the sheet. He also mentions that he misses her and that it feels empty at their home without her.  
She can’t help but feel bad about it, before she can even start to accuse herself for leaving him alone she is startled by a loud crash. She turns around the corner of the hall and quickly ducks back when she sees Mai’s head at the door frame.

“Wow Zuko,” she hears her say, “is that the only reaction I’m getting from you about this?”

“What do you want me to say? Huh? You want me to tell you not to go and live your life?” Katara can hear the anger in his voice and shudders. “Do you want me to force you to be here?”

“I can’t decide for you, but I can decide for me. I don’t want this anymore and I don’t care what my father says about this.” Mai’s voice is softer now, but still stern. Katara has no idea how she manages that.  
“I’ll always be by your side, I’ll always help you when you need an advisor and I’ll gladly take some of your work for you, but I cannot continue like this anymore.”

The waterbender feels guilty for listening in on such a private conversation and decides to leave, but when the door suddenly closes, she freezes. There are soft footsteps that sound more distant by each passing second, but Katara is still frozen on spot. It feels like she was caught eavesdropping on the Fire Lords private conversation.

She waits for a couple more seconds to pass before she dares to move again and hurries to the royal garden. With an exhausted sigh she drops to the grass near the turtleduck pond and folds Aangs letter almost neatly back into her pocket. Without noticing it, she had accidentally crumpled the letter in her hands when the door was shut.

She shakes her head. Did she really just spy on Zuko and Mai having a fight? And what was that all about Mai leaving? Kataras eyes widen. She isn’t really leaving, is she?   
The waterbender has no idea what to do with that information now. Ignoring it would be unfair, if Zuko isn’t feeling well then she should be there for him. But how would she address it?

_‘Hey Zuko, I heard you and Mai fighting and I guess she’s leaving huh? Wanna talk about it?’_

Yeah, right. She rolls her eyes at herself. This would definitely be the wrong way of approaching things. _Sokka_ would do it that way.  
Not knowing what to do, she just lies down on the grass and lets the sun shine on her face. A soft breeze curls through her hair, she feels it on her face, goose bumps erupting all over her body.

“What are you doing?”

Her eyes snap open. She looks at a figure that’s standing directly before the sun, making it impossible to identify them. But she recognizes the voice. She’d _always_ recognize that voice.

“I’m just lying around. Don’t know when I did that the last time.”

“What, lying? I would say last night in bed.”

Suddenly there’s a blush on her cheeks, thinking of him imagining her in bed. When his eyes widen, she knows he just realized what he said.

“ _No_ ,” she retorts and turns her face to the side to hide, “I mean just lying around and doing nothing. It’s been quite a while with all the work going on around us.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment and she knows that he’s thinking. What he’s thinking about though, she doesn’t know.

“I can’t remember the time I did that last. Might if I join you?” _Oh_.

When she opens her eyes and smiles at him in acknowledgement, he takes off his traditional cloak and throws it to the side. She hears shuffling and suddenly she feels the warmth radiating off his body next to her. It makes her heartbeat quicken, so she closes her eyes again, takes a deep breath and meditates.

“So now what?”

“What?”

“What now? Do we just- do we just lie here?”

“Yes, Zuko.”

“Hm, okay.”

A breeze passes by and then-

“Dammit, my foot is falling asleep-“

_Thump_

“Ouch! What was that for?!” Zuko asks as he strokes his right foot.

“You said it was falling asleep.”

“So you _kicked_ it?”

“You didn’t stop talking and I’m trying to meditate here.”

“Mhm, okay.”

Zuko turns his head to look at her again and catches a breath. He can see her brows squinting before parting again. He can hear her steady breath going in and out. His eyes travel down to her cleavage and they follow the rhythm of her breathing.  
Her voice rips him back to reality.

“You seem very unsettled.”

He furrows his brows and looks back at her closed eyes. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs lightly and opens her eyes to look at him.  
“I heard you and Mai fighting. I was walking here and I happened to catch the end of your fight. Are you two okay?”

When he was looking at her mediating he felt warm, but now the warmth has disappeared and he sits up.  
“I’d rather not talk about it now. I have so much work to do, I don’t have time for this now.” With that, he stands up to walk away.

“Wait, Zuko.” She is standing next to him now, her hand is resting on his arm and it feels so warm all of sudden, he has no idea what’s going on with his body temperature.  
Her ocean blue eyes look up at him and it feels like she just wants to torture him.  
“I just want you to know that whenever you feel like talking, don’t hesitate to knock on my door.”

He manages to give her a small nod before he can tear his eyes away from hers and go back to his office.

When she watches him leave, she sits down and pulls out the empty scroll and black ink she has stored in her small bag.  
  


“ _Dear Aaang_ ,” she starts.

-

The flame in his hand shows him the way down to Azula’s cell.  
For the past week he’s been coming down and reading her poems out of their mother’s diary. She still wasn’t talking to him, but nevertheless she started listening. She started leaning against the bars, side by side with him, calmly listening to the sound of his voice speaking out their mother’s words.   
With everything going on in his moment right now, he is glad to have at least one little success.

When he arrives at her cell, she is already gripping the bars and looking at him with angry eyes. He has to hold back a smile of victory.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he says, “but I had a few things to take care of before I could come.”

He knows that she memorized their algorithm. He knows that she was waiting for him to come on time. Azula hates it when things don’t go as planned. At least there’s one thing that hasn’t changed.

“I have mother’s book with me, but I thought I could read you something else. Would you mind?”

She narrows her eyes at him and he sits down, cross-legged, in front of her.

“ _Two little kids,_

_both scarred on the inside,_

_fighting for the love of their father._

_Siblings not by choice_

_brought together by fate,_

_challenging each other_

_with an incomprehensibly hate._

_With the last strike of blue,_

_she made her choice._

_Now he is lying on the ground,_

_bloody and broken,_

_grieving the death of their sibling bond.”_

He looks up and sees her gripping the bars with her eyes closed.

“I know it’s not good. It was the first one I wrote.”  
She is slowly breathing in and out, not reacting to him, so he continues.  
“When I was at Ember Islands before the comet I found mothers hidden stash in her room. There I found some old pictures of us and her diary. After our Agni Kai I didn’t know how to express my feelings to anyone. I didn’t want to talk about it, so I decided to try what mom used to do.”

Now, she is turning her head away from him. Her hands leave the bars and she walks back to the left corner of her cell.  
Zuko made the guards take off the chains on her wrists two days ago, as a sign of trust. There is still this cautious voice in his head, saying she’ll trick him again and that he’ll regret it, but he decided not to listen.

When Azula starts whispering to herself again, Zuko speaks loud enough for her to hear.  
“Do you remember Katara? The waterbender?”

_The one who struck you down and put you in chains._

“She told me about another kind of treatment that could be more helpful than this here. Have you ever heard of a therapist? They help you heal your heart and mind. I asked her to have someone from the Southpole come and talk to you.”

Her whispering stopped.

“It would mean a lot if you cooperated. Maybe…” he closes his eyes “… maybe we can fix this.”

  
Even hours after Azula heard her brother’s footsteps retreating, she didn’t start whispering again.

-

Katara has been here for almost two weeks now and she knows that after the big meeting with Sokka and the ministers, she will be going back to Aang and the temple. The next five days will be her last days at the Fire Nation before she’ll go back to her lonely life at the Temple.

She never imagined it to be like this. When the war ended and Aang confessed his love to her, it seemed like it was meant to be. After all she was the one who found him in the iceberg, she was the one who never doubted him and always stood by his side no matter what. She was the one who always took care of him, so it was only natural for everyone to expect them to get together.  
When the war ended, she imagined the life that was about to become hers. She imagined herself and Aang rebuilding the Air Temple, getting married there in front of the eyes of the spirit monks, birthing several children after a few years and growing old and being busy taking care of them all.  
This was what she imagined right after the war, right after the world decided it was their fate to be together.  
However in the middle of their first step of it, rebuilding the Temple, she already felt out of place. Everything suddenly seemed forced to her and she felt guilty about it. Isn’t she supposed to be happy with their progress? Isn’t she supposed to be thankful for having such a kind hearted boyfriend?  
In the eyes of the world she should be, but somehow she doesn’t.  
  
Instead she is having inappropriate dreams about the Firelord, her best friend and the best friend of the Avatar as well. She doesn’t know why these dreams are there, she just knows that she needs to ignore them. They will fade away eventually, at the latest when she’ll be with Aang again.  
  
  
The creak of the door catches her attention and she sees Sokka coming into the dining hall. She looks at the wall clock and rolls her eyes. It’s long past sunset, but Sokka always wakes up for a night snack.  
  
Her brother is just about to walk into the kitchen when he spots her sitting at the table. With a scare he jumps on the spot and clutches at his heart.  
  
“Tui and _La_ Katara you scared the shit out of me! Be happy I don’t have my boomerang with me or you’d be a head smaller.”  
  
Katara snorts and apologizes as she watches him walk over to her.  
  
“What are you doing here so late anyway?” He narrows his eyes at her. “I hope you didn’t eat my midnight snacks I specially requested the staff to make for me.”  
  
“Wow,” Katara raises her eyebrow, “since when are you such a diva? Is Gran-Gran letting you get away with that attitude?”  
  
Sokka just waves his hand. “Do you see her here? Nope, me neither.”  
  
They are sitting next to each other, a few wall torches dancing around them.  
For a moment Katara doesn’t know what to say. It still feels surreal having her brother right next to her without the constant fear of losing him in a battle. Of course, there are still rebellious groups that occasionally launch an attack, but these are so small and weak that they easily defend themselves and continue with the day. But right now, without any big fear of losing him any moment, she can’t quite enjoy it for some reason.  
Deep down she knows why. Guilt.  
  
“How is Gran-Gran doing? And father?” She eventually manages to bring out.  
  
Sokka knows that she feels guilty so he just smiles. “They’re okay. Father is busy helping me build the defense of the Southpole and Gran-Gran is... well she’s still her old self. Master Pakku and her are happily enjoying their time together. Sometimes a little too touchy,” he makes a disgusted face and shakes his head, “but it’s obvious that she’s getting older.”  
  
 _You should come and visit her before it’s too late._  
  
Katara knows that this is the hidden meaning behind his words, but he is careful with his words as he knows that they would hurt her.  
  
“I know that I haven’t been the best daughter, sister and granddaughter lately, but I promise it will change.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it, we get it. It’s not easy having to deal with all of what you deal with.”  
  
“No, Sokka I’m serious. I haven’t felt like myself the last few years and this small trip opened my eyes about a few things...”  
  
He looks at her carefully. “Like what?”  
  
She looks down at her hands. “Do you think it would be wrong of me to separate from Aang?”  
  
“What? Why?”  
  
“It’s just,” she can’t even look him in the eyes, “I hear about all these stories about being in love and how your whole body tingles when your partner touches you, how you always want to be near them or how there should be this heavy passion in every kiss and every touch.”  
She dares to look up and sees him looking at her with a face she can’t quite put a name on.  
“Don’t you understand what I mean?”  
  
“I think I do.” He mumbles and wipes his hand down his face. „But I thought you love Aang? I thought that you two would stay together forever.”  
  
“I do love Aang... just not the way I should love my future husband. I would literally give my life for him, just like I would for you, but every touch and every kiss started to feel more and more wrong. I think I see him more like a brother, not a lover.”  
  
Her brother nods as he listens and puckers his lips. “Wow little sis, you really even manage to break the Avatars heart.”  
  
She groans and slaps his arm. “Do you really think it will crush him?”  
  
He shrugs as he strokes his arm. “I mean he was head over heels for you the moment you broke him out of that iceberg so... yeah I think so.”  
When Sokka sees his sisters pained look his face softens. He places his hand on top of hers and smiles.  
“Katara this is definitely a Suki talk, but even your older brother can tell you that you should follow your heart. Make sure you don’t just take care of others but most importantly of yourself.”  
  
Still pained by the thought of hurting Aang, Katara nevertheless smiles at Sokka in a thankful way.  
“Speaking of Suki...” she starts and he quickly pulls his hand back away from hers.  
  
“Nope,” he interrupts her, “no need to talk about that. It was a mutual decision as we both have strongly different views of our future.” He sadly smiles down.  
“I still miss her a lot, but that will fade eventually.”  
  
It rips Kataras heart apart to see her brother like this, but she won’t pry. She knows he’ll talk to her about it when he’s ready. It has always been like this ever since they were children.  
  
“Well, you know I’m always here to talk.”  
  
He nods in acknowledgment and stands up.  
“Well, I better get my snacks and go to bed. I still have some things to prepare for the meeting. Don’t stay up too late little sis.”  
He reaches down to kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes and sighs. What a truly missed feeling it is.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
The meeting with the ministers and Sokka went better than expected. They managed to agree on most proposals the watertribe chief had to offer and they settled plans for ship routes concerning the trade between the Fire Nation and the Southpole.  
Katara managed to mediate between the two nations and help by contributing fitting ideas.  
  
When they all shook their hands as said their goodbyes, Katara stomach started to feel uneasy. Tomorrow it would be time to leave and go back to the Temple.  
The room is almost empty now, the only people inside are Katara and Zuko. She curses silently as she notices that they’re alone together quite often recently.  
When Zuko still reads through a couple of rolls and examines them, she knows that he doesn’t even realize she’s still there.  
She walks over to him and knocks on the table.  
  
“Your majesty in case you haven’t noticed but the meeting is over.” She muses.  
  
Zuko looks perplexed around the room and sighs. “I’ve been so caught up with this that I didn’t even notice.”  
When he packs his scrolls together and stands up, she takes a few of them to help him.  
They are walking out of the conference room and head towards Zukos office.  
“You really need some vacation Zuko, no offense but you don’t look very healthy.”  
  
The Firelord snorts and shakes his head. “I don’t know when I’ll ever get to have a vacation. Ever since the start of the war there was no need to stay in correspondence with the other nations or draft any proposals and contracts. But now, all I see are the ugly faces of the old ministers and hundreds of different scrolls a day.”  
  
“Maybe I could help you? Take some of the work off of your shoulders.” She says and balances the scrolls in her arms.  
  
“Oh no,” he shakes his head, “it’s way too much for you, you’d never be able to go back to the Temple.” He jokes.  
  
“Oh how convenient.” She mumbles quiet enough not for him to hear it.  
  
They arrive at Zukos office and she drops the scrolls in her arms down onto his desk. From the corner of her eye she catches the name of Iroh written on a letter.  
  
“Oh,” she perks up and looks at the letter, “you have a letter from Iroh.”  
Before he can snatch the letter away from the desk and squash it into a drawer, she manages to get a glimpse of a couple of words.  
  
 _“New information... your mother... come to Ba Sing Se.”  
_  
His mother? What does this mean?

He clears his throat and walks over to his office door to open it. “Thank you for your help Katara, goodnight.”

She doesn’t move. “What does it say?”

He doesn’t move. “Goodnight Katara.”

“Your mother? Zuko what does this mean? Did you find your mother? Did Iroh find your mother?”

When she still doesn’t bother to move, Zuko sighs and closes the door.  
He turns away from her, takes off his robe and flexes his back, earning a prying look from Katara. When he turns back around she hopes he doesn’t notice her flushing cheeks. Him walking directly towards her makes Katara’s heart thumping loudly in her chest. The light suddenly seems dim as he stands right next to her, shoulder on shoulder, and it feels hard for her to breathe.

“No. No, we didn’t find her.”

She’s taking a deep breath as he continues to walk past her to the window.   
It’s almost theatrical, the way he stands in front of the window, one hand leaning against the wall and his muscles flexing through his short sleeved shirt.

“Uncle has been looking for her for a while now. He noticed that I’m way too busy for it so he decided to find her for me.”

Katara takes a step closer but stops when he sighs. “And what does the letter say?”

“He has a trail to a certain small village behind Ba Sing Se, apparently its name is Sheng Cheng, but the trail stops there. “ Zuko watches Sokka and Suki sparring outside. “He advises me to take over and look for her there.”

To say that Katara is shocked would be an understatement. For a second it felt like her heart stopped beating. _Iroh might have found Zukos mother,_ she thinks. In all those years they bonded mostly over their absent mothers, so learning that Ursa might be found to be brought back to her family felt like it wasn’t about Ursa, but about Kataras mother.

“Then what are you still doing here?!” She exclaimes with her hands thrown up. “Zuko you need to find her, you’re too close to stop now.”

He turns around to face her again and stares at her. “I don’t have time. I can’t just leave my Nation like this. Everything is still a mess and if I leave now, for Agni knows how long, what will they think of me?”

“There are enough people that can substitute you! Also, when was the last time you took a look in the mirror? You look so _stressed_ it makes everyone around you crazy.” When she takes a step towards him he is still looking directly at her.

“Zuko,” she sighs, “stop looking for excuses. Your mother is out there just waiting for you to show up and bring her back to her real home. Use your chance… If I were you I would in a heartbeat.”

His eyes soften now and he takes the last two steps between them to hug her. “I’m sorry Katara, you’re right.” She can’t help herself but nuzzle her face into his chest as he speaks. “I’m just afraid that she’ll expect something else when she sees me.”

“She won’t,” Katara murmurs into his chest, “trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the incredible delay of this Update.  
> I had a death in the family and it's been a couple of rough days for me.
> 
> Sorry to all the Sukka shippers, I love them to death but I have other plans for Sokka here hehe.
> 
> Also on a side note: I know that the Zukos poem for Azula was bad, that was my point as it was Zukos first poem ever. We all know this boy doesn't have a talent by birth lol.
> 
> I would love to hear about what you loved in this chapter because praise is love and love is what I need.


	5. Forever My Friend

Zuko doesn’t know what made him hug Katara like this.  
Maybe it was the sad atmosphere, talking about the loss of their mothers. Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of being so close to actually finding his… or maybe it was the longing urge of touching her and holding her in his arms.

Either way, he regrets it now.  
He knows he shouldn’t have done it. He knows that she is with Aang, one of his most important friends, and he is still with Mai, for now at least.  
Most importantly however is that she is his friend. Several years ago when he finally earned Katara’s friendship he was grateful. The others seemed to accept him after the Avatar forgave him, however changing her opinion about him _again_ was hard and it took him a lot of patience. But in the end it was definitely worth it.  
Their friendship blossomed through the years and Zuko can’t help but miss the days when they would still write letters to each other, updating one another about any events happening in their lives. Sadly after a while he received fewer and fewer letters from her as she was busy with Aang and his tight schedule grew each day as well.

But now, with her here again, he finds himself longing for her presence. Thankfully he can suppress these feelings when he is stuck in his meetings all day, far away from her, but when she’s near him it’s not easy keeping a distance.

“Zuko?”  
There it is again. Her sweet voice, always worrying about others and right now about him.  
He looks at her and clears his throat. She is standing two steps away from him just now and there is already the need to touch her again.

“I’m sorry, I was lost in thoughts about my mother,” he lies. “Like I mentioned, Uncle lost his track at the village. He is asking me to come to find her. Obviously he believes that she might be there and he wants it to be me who finds her.”

“I understand,” Katara says and stills for a moment. “Are you going alone?”

He looks to the side. “I was actually planning on taking Azula when she recovers but… I guess it’s way too soon for her to come along.”

He hasn’t told her about his secret meetings with his sister in the dark and cold cells and he hopes that she won’t react negatively.  
But of course he sometimes forgets that he’s talking about Katara here.

“Mhm, of course,” she agrees and absently traces her fingers on his wooden table, “I can imagine that she is still too instable for such an important journey.”

When Katara looks back at him with wide eyes he knows this can’t be good.

“I’ll come with you.” She says it like she offers to go shopping with him.

He startles. “What? No, Katara I-“

“Don’t even bother Zuko,” she interrupts him with her hands on her hips. “This is going to be an emotional trip and you definitely shouldn’t do this alone. I’m here for you and we will find her.”

Zuko rubs his temples and lets out a long sigh. All of this is too much for his aching head.  
“Listen, I can’t go. There is still too much work to do here and I can’t just throw it all away. My nation needs me and I need to sort this whole mess out before I can take any time off.”

It takes Katara a moment to let his words sink in. “Zuko this is your _mother_ we are talking about. How could you possibly think about working than finding her?” She tries to soften her voice but he can sense her irritation. It’s not just irritation he picks out of her voice, is she really guilt-tripping him right now?

“For Agnis sake none of you understands this!” His anger surprises her and she takes a step back.  
“You all think I can just take off the crown and do whatever I want to but no, it’s not like that! I have two hours a day for myself - _two hours_ – and the other countless hours I’m stuck in meetings securing the wellbeing of the nation.” He shakes his head and lets out a humorless chuckle. “It’s amazing how everyone of you blames me for being so heartless and busy but has anyone of you _ever_ thought about what I might feel? How I would rather spend my time and with whom? No, of course not.”  
His voice begins to die away and his shoulders are hunched forward. “I’m so sick of all this, Katara. I-“ he breaks off with a sigh.  
He can hear her slowly shuffling towards him again and feels her hand against his arm.  
Golden eyes lock with blue eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “You are right, we are in no position to judge you, but there is still a solution for everything.” She rubs his arm and it takes every strength in his body not to move forward to nuzzle his face in her neck.

“I’m sure that Iroh could take over for a while and your advisors could help him.” It’s incredible how infectious her smile is and he can’t help but let the corner of his mouth quirk up just a little.

“I don’t know… I guess it could work that way. But I need to prepare instructions and notes for them before I leave. I can’t leave without making sure that everything will be taken care of.”

She takes her hand back and crosses her arms with a smile. “You mean before _we_ leave.”

His heart flutters but he shakes his head. “I can’t ask you to come with me, Aang is probably going crazy without you and the Temple must-“

“I’m going with you,” she states firmly. “Don’t forget friends are there for each other. You didn't hesitate a second to help me find out who killed my mother. Now I won't hesitate to help you find yours.”

After trying to change her mind several times she manages to get him accept her decision.

  
He has no idea what it is about her, but it drives him insane.

* * *

They settled for one week.  
In one week a new adventure will await the young duo, but before this they each have to sort out their issues.

Zuko throws orders around like he’s never done before. Everything has to be planned thoroughly before he leaves and it barely gives him any time to eat. Occasionally Mai comes in to place a bowl of food in front of him and threaten his life if he won’t eat it. So whenever she comes back to check up on the work progress _(yeah right)_ she finds his bowl empty.

Two days later there is a knock on the Firelord’s door. Before he can order them to come in, Sokka’s head pops out from behind the door.

“You called for me?”

Zuko looks back to the tariff in his hands and scribbles a few words on it before putting it to the side. After gesturing Sokka to sit down on the chair in front of him, he clears his throat.

“There is something I need to discuss with you- or more like ask for.”

“Ask me for something?” The Chief raises his eyebrows. “Go ahead Firelordy,-“

“-Stop calling me that-“

“- what can I do for you?” 

Zuko sighs and starts to regret his decision already.  
“I’m leaving in a couple of days for a… _mission_ ” he starts. “Uncle will be here and take care of the formalities, Mai has already offered to assist him and I’m making sure that everything is settled before I go. Therefore I’m not worried about the Nation, but…” There is that sigh again and Sokka waits for Zuko to continue.

“I’ve been visiting Azula for a time now.”

Silcence.

“Oh, wow. Uh, okay?” Reading Sokka’s opinion about that was like reading an open book. He was not really thrilled about that, but didn’t care to speak up. Zuko can only hope that he’ll understand it, after all he has a little sister too. _(Maybe Katara and Azula aren’t the best pair to compare but whatever.)_

“You gotta give me something here Zuko, what do you need from me?” He can see that Sokka gets confused every passing second.

“As I’ve just mentioned, I’ve been visiting her now for a while and it seems that my visits make tiny progress on bringing her back. It’s not much but it’s at least something.” He leans back in his chair and laces his hands together on his lap. “Katara told me the therapist from the Southpole can’t arrive sooner than in three weeks. As I will be gone in one, I don’t want to bring Azula out of her daily routine. I couldn’t see her for a day once and she went back to ignoring me the whole day. I don’t want to lose the progress I have already made; therefore I’m asking if you could take my place instead and keep her company until the therapist arrives.”

If it weren’t such a serious matter, Zuko would have loved to paint a picture of Sokka’s face.  
The Chief had a dumbstruck expression, eyes wide and mouth agape, and blinked.

“Wait, so you- you want me to visit _Azula_?”

Zuko nods.

“Like- _talk_ to her? Be within her reach to roast me? _Babysit_ _her_?”

“As far as I know you’ll be staying here for another four weeks, so yes.”

Sokka tries to find _any_ sign in Zukos face to figure this sick joke out and it pains him to realize that there is none. His friend is actually serious about this.

“What about Mai? Weren’t they, like, best friends? _She_ could visit her!” He tries hopelessly and Zuko shakes his head.

“Their last interaction was over five years ago when Mai helped us back at the Boiling Rock and betrayed Azula.” Sokka huffs at that memory. Damn how time flies.  
With a nervous face Zuko shifts in his seat. “Aside from that, Mai doesn’t know that I visit her. She… she just wouldn’t understand.”

Sokka nods and hopes to find another solution to get him out of this mess. “Okay but Azula and I have never had any personal connection- oh no right there was just this tiny detail that she wanted to _kill me_ -“

“She wanted to kill everyone,” Zuko interrupts, shrugging.

“Oh so that makes it less crazy?”

“Sokka _please_ ,” the Firelord closes his eyes and rubs his temples,” you’re the only one I trust with this. No one else but the guards will know and I want to keep it that way.”

Sokka huffs in annoyance and crosses his arms like a spoiled child. “Well I can’t really say no to the Firelord when I’m _in the middle_ of the Fire Nation surrounded by _thousands_ of firebenders now, can I? Honestly Zuko I never pegged you for a corrupted Firelord, I’m shocked.”

Now Zuko smiles lightly and shakes his head. “I’m not asking you as the Firelord, I’m asking you as your best friend.”

It takes Sokka a couple of seconds, fighting with himself internally, but he eventually stands up and stretches out his arm to Zuko.  
“Dirty bastard coming at me with the best friend card,” he mumbles when Zuko returns the brotherly handshake, gripping Sokka’s arm with his hand and Sokka doing the same with Zukos; watertribe style.“I already know you’re still going to pull that when we’re as old as the spirits.”  
Zuko laughs at that and they let go of each other.

The Chief points accusingly at his friend. “You better not tell Aang you said this or he’ll bawl like a kicked child.”

* * *

As Katara finishes her packing, there is a knock on her door. She walks over to open it and Sokka’s face fills her view.

“Hey Sokka,” she greets and steps to the side for him to come in.

“Hey sis, are you done packing?” He asks and nods at her two neatly packed bags.

“Yes, I just need to bring them down to the port.”

She zips up her bags and protests when Sokka throws them over his shoulder. They are walking down the long corridors of the palace and her brother tells her about how boring it will be here without having the chance to annoy his little sister. They laugh and appreciate the last few minutes they’ll have together for a while now.  
When he asks her what she plans to tell Aang, she helplessly sighs.

“I’ll figure it out when I’m there. Just thinking about it now gives me a headache.”

They arrive at the port and Sokka throws her bags onto the small boat. It looks quite pathetic next to the several Fire Nation ships, but Katara is okay with that. It has a sentimental value; she remembers the fun she had with Aang, building this boat together. Both of them had never built one before and it showed, but it was one of their funniest and relaxed days. So every time she sees her boat next to other flashy boats, she just shrugs it off and smiles internally at the memories.

“Alright,” Sokka entangles the rope from the dock and holds it tightly. The Watertribe siblings look at each other and engulf in a familiar scenting hug. “Take care little sis.” He murmurs against the side of her head and plants a soft kiss on it. “I’m not going say that I’ll kick Aangs butt if he hurts you because, you know, _it’s_ _Aang_ we’re talking about here, but if you need any help or a place to stay or whatever-“ he breaks off and clears his throat, “-your new room at the Southpole is still waiting for you.”

It takes Katara all her strength not to cry in front of her brother, so she just nods and hugs him a second time a little tighter than before.  
They bid their goodbye’s and only when she can just barely see her brothers silhouette anymore, her strength crumbles and the tears pour out of her eyes.

The moment she will arrive at the Temple, her life is either going to change in a negative or in a positive way. Nervous but also eager to find out, Katara starts bending the boat faster and faster and faster.

When she arrives at the Temple, she notices that not much has changed. The progress of the houses and other buildings looked quite the same, but there were a lot more people than last time she was here.

Her boat tips the dock and Zhang, an old and kind man originally from the Earth Kingdom, grabs the rope of her boat and wraps it around the metal pole to fixate the boat.  
“Welcome back, Master Katara,” he bows and she gives him a warm smile. “The Avatar is mediating on the sacred hill.”

The way to the sacred hill is a steep one and it takes her several minutes, but Katara has fought a lot and still meditates enough to regulate her breath easily. She sees Aang sitting cross-legged at the edge, his chest slowly going up and down with each breath.  
He looks so at ease, she thinks. And depending on the outcome of their conversation, she could probably kill his peace in a couple of seconds.

The airbender is so focused on his mediating that he didn’t even hear her coming up the hill. It’s only when she is a few steps away from him when he hastily looks behind himself and grins.  
“Katara!” With a swift airbending move he is on his feet and already has her in his arms.

For their sake, she has just maybe hoped that the sparks between them would emit at the familiar feeling of his arms around her, but much to her unrest (no really, it was secretly more of a relief) they did not.

They part and without having a second to realize what’s happening, his lips are pressed against hers in a desperate and loving way. Of course, after all they are together and therefore this should be normal, but to her it feels wrong. She lightly kisses him back though and makes the first step to break apart again.

He doesn’t even notice her discomfort; he just continues to grin at her just like old times. “You look great. Maybe I should have some Fire Nation sun as well, surely some color wouldn’t harm this bald head.” She just chuckled and ignores the warmth pooling in her stomach at the mention of the Fire Nation.

“Yes, even though I was there on business matters, it was quite relaxing.”

Aang nods and takes her hand into his. “Now that you’re here again, I need to introduce you to some of the new people that have arrived when you were gone.”

“Actually,” she starts and looks at their hands, “I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

“Oh, whatever mistakes you’ve made at the meetings don’t matter now, let me show you-“

“Wait, what mistakes? I didn’t make any mistakes.” Her puzzled look makes him scratch his head.

“Oh, I thought- never mind. Let’s go down and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

He walks past her, but when she talks again, he nervously stops.  
“Wait,” she sounds taken aback. “You thought I would fail, wouldn’t you?”

Now he sighs and rubs his face. “No, Katara I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I can see that you’re nervous about wanting to tell me something so I just- I didn’t want to insult you. I’m sorry.”

Maybe it’s her younger self scolding her or maybe it’s just Aangs shameful glance that makes Katara calm down. She shouldn’t have snapped at him like that, why is she so sensitive?

“Never mind, I should be sorry for snapping at you like this. We can talk later,” she offers with a smile, “introduce me to the others, will you?”

She meets Li Wei, a former soldier from Omashu. He lost both of his sons in battle and has since decided to join the Air Acolytes for a peaceful and lighter life.  
Somehow, she has to think of Iroh.

After him, she gets to know Lin and Wang Yong, a sweet nomad couple from a swamp somewhere around Gaoling. When they heard of the Air Temple being restored again, they immediately made their way to them. By foot.

There were four more (one from the North Pole, two from Ba Sing Se and one from Ember Islands), of which Katara has successfully memorized the names too, before she was standing in front of the last one.  
The girl introduced herself as Mingyun and her hair is light brown with wild curls framing her thin face. She must be around Aangs age, maybe a year younger but not more. The girl tells Katara about her small village on Kyoshi Island, that her father is a hard working farmer who comes home after she goes to sleep and leaves for work before she wakes up. She tells Katara about her mother, that her mother never stops cooking and baking for their whole village. That poor old woman feels lonely with her husband being away the whole day and makes sure that every single villager is fed well. The girl- Mingyun- tells Katara about the tears in her parents’ eyes when she told them she’d be leaving to help the Avatar restore his culture and race.  
When Mingyun tells Katara all of this, the waterbender can’t help but notice the glow in the younger girl’s eyes. So when she looks at Aang and he smiles fondly, she thinks that maybe their talk won’t come out as negative as feared before.

When dinner is ready, everyone sits outside on the ground. Some have spread the table cloths on the floor and some have handed out the food on several plates. Lots of talking, yelling and laughing was thrown from one side of the feat to the other and Katara almost felt at home.  
Surprisingly it wasn’t a very chilly evening, so when they all finished their plates, Wang Yong takes out his flute and plays some tunes to Lin’s sweet voice. Not long after, others join in on the repeating verses, following with a burst of laughter here and there.

Katara looks at Aang again and in that exact moment she could start crying.  
Her best friend had tears in his eyes. Her best friend lost his entire tribal kinsmen, yet after over a hundred years he is now sitting here with the most wholesome look she has ever seen on him.  
Her romantic feelings towards him might have changed, but to her he is and always will be her best friend. No matter the outcome of their talk later. If he will want his space, she will give it to him. She will give him all the space he wants, but she won’t give him the chance to annul their friendship, because she _needs_ it. Deep inside of his stressed and worn out self, the young boy she met all those years ago still lingers there somewhere. He literally changed her life to something better and no words and no gifts in the world could be enough to show her gratitude.

The sun had set long ago; they were too caught up telling stories and singing songs from diverse nations at the bonfire, but when a long yawn interrupted Zhangs funny story about his long-dead wife’s encounter with a gemsbok bull. Katara blushes and excuses herself to go to bed, Aang following shortly after.

When he enters their home, she knows that he is confused of her still standing next to the bed.  
“I think we should talk now, Aang.”

But he is already in bed, pulling the covers over his body. “I’m too tired now, let’s talk tomorrow. Is that alright with you?”

She doesn’t know why he keeps putting it off. Did he figure it out? Does he know what she is trying to do? Is he deferring the talk longer than necessary? Katara doesn’t know and she most likely doesn’t want to have a bad start in this conversation, so she just forced a smile and nods.

Whatever he thinks she will do, he still clings to her that night like every other night before.

After breakfast and some lame jokes about ostrich horse eggs, Katara finds Aang mediating at the sacred hill again.  
She silently sits next to him, her feet dangling down at the edge of the hill, and she waits for him to finish.

“You want to break up with me, don’t you?” His eyes are still closed and his chest matches his breath. _In and out._

Her neck cracks from the force of turning it to him with wide eyes. “I-,” she starts but doesn’t know what to say now. The whole time she was going through her words in her head. The words she’d have to tell him to his face and she was confident memorizing them. But the second he spoke it out it was like her mind was empty.

“I think I can imagine why, but I want you to say it.”

All of sudden he doesn’t sound like the young man he is; all of sudden he sounds like an old, wise and experienced man. When he opens his eyes and sad grey meets sad blue, she swallows.

“It’s,” she can’t think of _any_ part of her actual speech, “It’s just not the same anymore.”  
This poor attempt of an explanation makes her want to slap herself. But Aang just nods once.

Gathering all her will, she continues.  
“Aang, everything we have experienced, every obstacles we have survived- I wouldn’t exchange _any_ of this for the largest amount of money or whatever.” She places a hand on his shoulder but retreats it back when he winces.  
“You are one of the most important people in my life, Aang. I trust you with my life more than anyone else and I don’t plan on changing that. You will always be my best friend, you will always have a special place in my heart and no matter what- I will always be by your side.”  
Her voice grows quieter now. “That is, if you still want me in your life.”

It’s quiet for a time. It’s actually just a couple of seconds but to Katara it painfully feels like an hour.

“What a ridiculous question.”

She looks at him in confusion and he forces a small smile.

“I could never ban you out of my life Katara. You are the most important person in my life, even before we started being together. No matter how worse our situations got, you always kept a clear head to make sure that all of us were safe. When I lost my mind at the Shi Wong Desert, looking for Appa like a maniac, you kept us all strong and together.”  
He sighs and looks in front of him. He can see the people, _his_ _people_ , minding their own business and just being normal.  
“It’s time for me to focus on my people. I need to make this my first priority, all the Avatar business aside for a while, this is where I’m supposed to be. Where I belong.”

  
He tells her she will always be his first love. She cries.  
He tells her whatever she needs, he’ll serve. She cries.  
He tells her whoever will win her heart over, will win at life.  
She cries.

  
When she tells him about her journey with Zuko, Aang is happy for her. He believes that she needs another adventure and, of course, hopes for them to succeed and find Zukos mother.  
Her bags are packed again and she meets Zhang at the dock again. He unrolls the rope off the metal pole and lends her a hand to hold onto when she gets on her boat.  
“It’s a shame you’re leaving already. We will miss you dearly, Master Katara.”

She has no more tears left, she’s all cried out, so she bows down lower than she has to.  
“Thank you for your kind words Zhang. It is truly beautiful here with you all, don’t worry, you won’t get rid of me so easily.”  
The old man chuckles and throws the rope over to her.

The tides are already stirring the boat away from the dock when a female voice calls out for her. Katara looks up and sees Mingyun running over to her.  
"Master Katara!" She gasps out of breath. "You are leaving already?"  
  
Katara bends against the tides and brings herself closer to the girl. "Yes, I have another mission to attend."  
  
"That's a shame," the girl says with a sad frown. "I would have loved to listen to some more thrilling adventures of you."

"Don't worry, I'll come again soon and if I should not make it for a long time, Aang can tell you. He was there most of the time too." Katara smiles and something suddenly shines on the girl's arm. The sun reflected a bracelet that's hanging on her arm. Without thinking, Katara reaches forward and brings Mingyun's hand close to her face and then looks down onto her own arm.  
It's the same bracelet Aang bought for Katara at the market in the Earth Kingdom.  
Actually, it's not exactly the same; it's the other missing pair.

"Uh, Master Katara?"

Realizing how stupid she must look, Katara instantly drops Mingyun's arm and apologizes. She takes of her own bracelet and gives it to the girl.  
"Can you do me a favor?" She asks her. "Can you give this to Aang?"

She doesn’t look back, she just hurries her bending, hoping to arrive on time to Zuko and their meeting point; Kyoshi Island.

With all the hope and pressure forced onto their relationship by the whole world, Katara never imagined the conversation to go so easily and relieving.  
Inappropriately she thinks that having a peaceful air nomad as an (ex-)boyfriend might be the best decision she has ever made with men.

Too soon for jokes?  
Yes well, she was never good with them anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, the plot now finally begins. Next chapter will be Zutara reuniting on Kyoshi and making their way to Uncle Iroh in Ba Sing Se.
> 
> How much are you looking forward to the painfully uncomfortable conversations Sokka must have with Azula?  
> What did you guys think of Aangs reaction?  
> What do you think of Mingyun?  
> Btw, Mingyun means "fate"/ "destiny" in Chinese (says some chinese site at least, please correct me if I'm wrong). Hehe.
> 
> I’m always happy and grateful for comments & kudos ♡


	6. The Dragon of the West

It’s always a big thing when someone from the royal family has their birthday coming up.  
A specific important tradition, made up over hundreds of years ago, is making the current Firelords birthday a holiday all over the country. Each year on the day of their mighty Firelords birthday, the citizens have a day off to celebrate at home with their family or on the streets with their neighborhood. There are lanterns, lots of various delicate Fire Nation dishes and drinks, beautiful music and games for children and the eventually drunk adults.

For the ‘normal’ royals in the Palace it isn’t quite as marvelous as for the Firelord, however they still have a big feast inside the Palace with the most important and noble families of the Fire Nation.   
It was a well-known fact, that Princess Azula _loved_ her birthday.   
She loves the attention she gets from her Nation, the desire of power flaring in her eyes, and cherishes every single second. When in a good mood (which is _always_ on her birthdays) she is passing the streets in her palanquin, honoring the citizens with her glorious presence.   
She also loves the presents, of course. No birthday is really a birthday without any presents. All the noble families know how important presents are for the princess. She says the presents represent the knowledge the nobles own about their princess. When there should be a present that she doesn’t like, she shows it to make sure it won’t happen again. When the princess likes a present, she shows it to make sure the others are nervously thinking about the next thing they can present to her.  
For Princess Azula, birthdays are important, because in her opinion everyone should be thankful for the day she was born.

Prince Zuko, like so often, did not share his sister’s sentiment.  
In his opinion, his Great-Grandfather‘s birthday is important, his Grandfather’s birthday is important and so is his father’s birthday. It was no secret that the Prince’s life was frown upon by the family. It was no secret that the young boy always failed his father’s expectation. It was no secret that the Firelord’s beloved wife Ursa nearly died while giving birth to the heir of the throne.  
It was no secret, that Prince Zuko never enjoyed his birthday. All these people joining the feast, only preying on the free food and alcohol served. None of those imbeciles knew him, none of those pathetic beings _wanted_ to know him. The only thing wanted, was the approval and attention of the Prince’s father, their almighty Firelord. Prince Zuko only sneered on the inside, if he couldn’t get his father’s attention, then surely so won’t they.  
On his birthdays, the Crown Prince only sat in his chair and broodingly watched the people celebrate a day that was cursed from the beginning.

The last five years, since Crown Prince Zuko honorably became Firelord Zuko, his birthdays were less depressing.  
For him, the people were cheering out of joy and hope. For his father, the people were cheering out of fear and desperation.  
Each time he takes a walk around the capital city, he takes his time to stop and talk to the people. He makes sure they see he’s here and he is here to help. Not one of them should feel the kind of fear like they did under his father’s reign. All Zuko wants for them is peace and unification.  
Seeing the happy faces, he truly hopes they are real. It makes his heart feel lighter when he can help them and that’s exactly what he needs.  
So he knows his birthdays are okay now, but something is still missing. He doesn’t know what, but hopes that once it’s right there- he will know.

Two days are left before his search of his mother Ursa begins. Zuko knows this particular time could be a huge setback for his oh-so-little growing relationship with his sister. It could be possible that he comes back to an even more withdrawn Azula than before. He doesn’t know what made him ask Sokka to keep her company, but other than him there was no one Zuko could have thought of.  
He wouldn’t let one of his ministers or servants visit her, they mean nothing to her. Mai and Ty Lee would mean too much to her, he knows his sister could never get over the betrayal by her former friends. Suki is presumably still hung up on the fact that Azula kept her imprisoned and hurt many of her Kyoshi warriors. Sokka wouldn’t let her manipulate him, Zuko knows that because it happened once and Sokka has learned from it.  
He had thought about assigning his uncle to this, but Iroh wasn’t very fond of Azula either. Zuko has never seen his Uncle so careless about anyone else like he is with Azula. It seems weird and impossible to Zuko, watching his uncle with no sympathy for his little sister, but when he thinks about the look on Iroh’s face when seeing Ozai it makes sense. Zuko always thought his uncle was perfect, but in that moment he noticed it wasn’t true at all. Despite Iroh’s great wisdom and kind heart, the old man still couldn’t not compare his broken niece to his broken brother.  
And even though Zuko couldn’t read his uncle’s face, he knew they were both thinking exactly that.

So now, we are back to the young Firelord visiting his crumbling sister in her cell.  
In two days he would part. In five days she would turn nineteen.  
It’s a big mistake to leave her now, but he has to. He will come back with their mother’s love and hopefully this will be the solution to Azula’s shattered soul.

“Hey, Zula,” he starts as he fumbles with a loose thread on his sleeve. She looks over to him. “There is something that I have to take care of. It could take a while; I could be gone for several weeks or even months.”  
She doesn’t widen her eyes or gives any other sign of surprise, but Zuko catches her hand twitching, almost like wanting to form a fist.

“This is something I have to do for me - _for us_ – to be more balanced with our inner peace,” he looks up when a snort escapes Azula’s mouth. She is laughing at him, he thinks.  
“Trust me, this is necessary, but…” hesitating won’t save him, he knows he has to say it. “… this means that I won’t be able to visit you for that time being. Your therapist’s arrival takes longer than we had originally planned, so I have someone else coming down to keep you company. Do you remember Sokka from the Watertribe?”

Suddenly she is standing at the front, fingers gripping tightly at the bars. He didn’t expect this kind of reaction and he has to keep himself from grinning proudly. Now _he_ was the one that caught her by surprise, not the other way around for once.

“He will come by occasionally to see how you’re doing. Don’t worry, I trust him with my life, he won’t hurt you nor will he humiliate you in any kind.” He stands up and comes close to her. He is thinking of laying his hands on top of hers, but he can already see his hands melting in her flames. So he doesn’t.

“I will go and find mother, Azula. I will make it my next mission to find her and bring her home to us.”  
Her eyes fall, like she expected him to say something better, and so her hands find themselves against her sides again and away from the bars.

Zuko doesn’t understand why she looks so disappointed. “What is it?”

Azula doesn’t understand why he just can’t let go.

When there is no more interaction between them, Zuko says his goodbye and sighs.  
Before he can turn around, her left arm jumps up and catches his. He looks alarmed at her but doesn’t move to see what she will do. His uncle would shake his head at Zuko’s foolishness.

“Good luck,” is all she whispers out before retreating back to her corner.

-

When Zuko arrives at Kyoshi Island, it is with a big feast and lots of people cheering for him.  
He didn’t expect anyone to know about his arrival, but he figured that Suki must have told her people about his stop on the Island. He will think of a proper payback later.

A tiny but corpulent man bows down to the grass right next to where his air ship landed. Zuko traveled alone with light baggage.

“Oh your Highness! Thank you for visiting Kyoshi Island, we are blessed by the spirits for your arrival!”

Zuko curses under his breath and beckons the man to stand up. This is exactly the kind of attention he ought to avoid. “Thank you,” he nods his head, “I’m grateful for such a generous welcoming. Do you know a place I could stay for the night? My company should arrive tomorrow morning.”

The man nods. “Of course, follow me your Highness.” The man reaches out to take Zuko’s bag, but Zuko just shakes his head and follows the man to a large house.

“This is the Ling Inn. If you need anything, your Highness, my wife and I are right at the reception.”

Zuko needs sleep, he really needs sleep so he just nods and follows the man to his room. The Inn is strangely empty and Zuko doesn’t know if it’s because the innkeeper threw everyone out for him or because business isn’t going well. Both options don’t lie right with him.

Before he closes the door of his room, the innkeeper calls out to him one last time. “We are serving dinner with a small celebration in honor of our Firelord in a couple of hours. I will come and wake you then.”

Zuko’s head hits the bed and he’s out cold.

* * *

The people on Kyoshi are different than the people Zuko usually dines with.  
They don’t treat him like a Firelord, they treat him like _their_ Firelord and it takes him a hard time to actually comprehend that.

It’s unusual for the Firelord to dine with a commoner in a commoner’s house surrounded by even more commoners. The people here aren’t poor, they are doing just fine, and the atmosphere is so much more different than what Zuko is used to.  
In his palace, it’s mostly him and Mai eating in silence before some of the important ministers join them. It’s often just political talk at the table or an awkward silence, but here is none of that.  
Here, the people laugh and tell jokes and stories with their mouth full. They don’t care about the ridiculous sight of their faces in between laughing and eating, it’s like they don’t have a care in the world.

Zuko knows that Kyoshi is doing okay, concerning the business and economy, and he often listens to Suki gushing about it. Right now, she is surrounded by his people to make sure him and his people are safe, so of course Zuko feels the need to give it back to her by joining her people in what they do.  
  


After dinner there is a game that Zuko doesn’t quite understand, but when Katara’s eyes suddenly find his he is standing on a table, trapped between two Kyoshi Warriors, one five year old boy is clinging onto his left leg and another one onto his right arm. It feels like the table is about to break, but they are still standing on it and Zuko still has no idea why.

So when he sees Katara standing there at the door entrance, he does what he can do best.

He embarrasses himself.

With a startled gasp he loses his balance and the boy on his right arm plumps onto the table and Zuko almost fell down the table if it weren’t for the two Kyoshi Warrior’s quick reflexes. They hold him back from both sides and snicker.

“Katara,” he clears his throat before jumping off the table. “I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.”  
His friend raises and eyebrow and smirks. “I see I have disturbed you in… what exactly?”

“I have no idea,” he whispers and smiles when she laughs.   
They wish the people a good night and Zuko shows Katara her room. He insisted that the innkeeper should stay at the small gathering and enjoy his time.

“My room is just two floors away, in case of an emergency.” He tells her when she enters the room. His feet are rooted at the threshold.

Katara throws her bag on the bed and takes off her shoes. “You want to come in? I could go for a round of tee.”  
Zuko looks around and nods before closing the door.

He allows himself to sit down on a chair next to a small table. “I didn’t expect you to arrive so soon. You said you needed to take care of something at the Temple first. I’m guessing it went faster than imagined?”

She looks tense now but he thinks it might be the weariness.  
“Yes,” she says slowly. “I’m surprised about it myself, but I’m also not complaining.” She smiles at him and places two cups of tea that she found on the shelves. “I really look forward to this. I still can’t believe that Iroh found your mother.”

He looks down on his feet. “I hope he actually did. I don’t think that my mind understands what we’re about to do. It all still feels so surreal.”

“Of course it does,” when she fishes a black pouch out of her travel bag, she pours some of the dried leafs into the pot and bends enough water out of the air. “You thought she was dead for years and now we’re on our way to find her and bring her home. Healthy and alive.”   
She is sitting on the floor, propped on both of her knees, and swirls the water with her bending. This picture gives Zuko a weird kind of feeling, thinking about the times they were running on the low to prepare the Avatar’s fight against Firelord Ozai.

Katara was always the one that made sure everyone was taken care of and he remembers the time it actually felt nice. He remembers her fishing their meals and paunching them while Zuko went to find firewood. He would light the fire, she would make sure the food wouldn’t get burned. Her soft and concentrated voice telling him to choke the fire down or raise it up again in case it wasn’t done.  
Even back then he felt it. This uneasy feeling of domesticity. It felt wrong with them, but somehow right as well. A confused scarred boy travelling with his former enemies to strike his father’s empire and dethrone him, what was he supposed to feel?  
 _How_ was he supposed to feel?

He had no actual connection to the blind girl called Toph. She seemed like a tough and stubborn girl despite her age and height though and Zuko instantly had a feeling that fighting her would be harder than it looks.

Sokka, the watertribe peasa- _boy,_ was a lot smarter than Zuko had imagined. When he was hunting them, the lanky, brown skinned boy didn’t seem like a threat at all. All he did was stumble around and throw that stupid boomerang around, but when Zuko got to know him better, especially after their trip to the Boiling Rock, he noticed the difference between the watertribe peasant he thought him to be and the watertrribe warrior he actually is. Sokka was smart and he had a good sense of planning their tactics. From Zuko’s perspective, Sokka was the head of the group.

Then there was the Avatar as well. Their first encounter wasn’t how Zuko always imagined it to be. He used to think that _if_ he found the Avatar, it would be a spectacular scene. He imagined him to be old, over a hundred years old, but even back then he knew not to underestimate him. But he had his uncle with him, the Great Dragon of the West, so of course the young and naïve Zuko saw his victory not too far away when the blue light struck up into the air. When he met a twelve year old bald boy, however, Zuko just thought Agni might have been on his side for once. There wouldn’t be much of a fight, he thought, this boy was nothing but a child. Oh how wrong he was though. Over the years of hunting them, Zuko realized that he was profoundly mistaken. The Avatar might have been a child when he met him, but he was still powerful. He had the gift after all, he was the chosen one for a reason.  
So when Zuko learned to travel with him, he didn’t see him as the Avatar anymore, he finally saw him as Aang. Aang, the boy trapped in the iceberg, who only wanted the world to be at peace. Aang, the boy with the large scar on his back, whose entire race was declared extinct by Zuko’s very own Nation. Zuko knew that Aang had forgiven him then, but Zuko just didn’t forgive himself.

And, last but not least, there was the Avatar’s watertribe girl. Katara.  
When they first met, he thought she was an annoying little peasant, not much different than her brother. But over the time when they would fight and she would fend off Zuko’s blows with such precise movements, his thoughts about her had changed. She was strong, he figured as much, and when they went to find her mother’s killer, he accepted the fact that she could have always easily killed him. Her waterbending was the most powerful waterbending Zuko has ever seen, but when she started to bend the old man’s blood, that’s when Zuko began to see her for whom she is. A powerful bender with the biggest volition to protect the one’s she loves as well as every single soul in need. Her body had matured over the years from when he first met her and Zuko _noticed_. Especially when they used to take a break to jump into a river he noticed her curves, her shining brown skin and the way the water would drip dow-

“Zuko?”

His head snaps up and heat flushes up to his ears. Katara is sitting in front of him with a concerned look on her face.  
He tries to remember what they were talking about before he lost himself in his thoughts and _ah, right,_ they were talking about finding his mother.

“Are you alright?” 

He nods and sees the tea pot in front of him. Oh, she is waiting for him to heat it, of course. The heat crawls around the pot and he can hear the water boiling. She can probably feel it, he thinks.  
He wonders if she can feel his blood running in his veins, if she can feel the vibrant thump of the blood pumping inside his heart. He wonders if she could make it stop with just a snap of her fingers.

“Don’t bring yourself down, I’m sure we will find her. Iroh is a patient man, he wouldn’t have sent you on this mission without being certain about it.” She pours the boiling tea in a cup for him and then for herself before sitting down again.

Zuko bows his head, a silent thank you, and watches the heat swirling up from the cup. “Yes. I’m sure you’re right.” He knows she just wants to cheer him up, but he doesn’t need that right now. He doesn’t want to get excited before he can be sure that their mission will be successful. He knows disappointment, he’s been one to his father his whole life, he doesn’t want anything less than disappointment.

They don’t talk much after that, only drinking their tea in a comfortable silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts. So when Katara fails to suppress a yawn, Zuko decides it’s time to leave. He wishes her a goodbye and thanks her for the tea before retiring to his own room just two floors away.

* * *

They rouse shortly before the sun would and while Zuko was busy loading their bags on the airship, Katara was fighting every will not to fall asleep. It’s not that she has a problem waking up in an early hour, it’s just that she has a problem with waking up before _the sun_ even has the chance to. To Katara it’s a torture and she doesn’t know how Zuko can be so fine with it. Observing him in the past confirmed that he has a light sleep and doesn’t seem to mind waking up so early. She wonders, if he had this sleeping pattern as a young child already, or if it evolved over the years.

“Are you ready?”  
His voice made her look up with a sigh.

“No,” she grumbles. “This is torture.”

Zuko chuckles and waits for her to come on board. The air ship isn’t big, like their war airships, it’s small and only up to five people could fit in. It wasn’t necessary for Zuko to go with a crew as this mission is supposed to be on the low. When asked for the need of servants, Zuko declined. He may be the Firelord, but there were times in his past where he himself had to make sure enough essentials for his situation were available.

Zuko lights a fire and the airship starts to rise into the air. When Katara can’t hold back the fifth yawn escaping her mouth, he looks at her. “You can sleep if you want. I’ll wake you when we arrive at Omashu.”

“Oh no, no,” another yawn, “you don’t have to... I’ll stay awake with y…” her mumbling stopped and her eye closed.

Zuko looks at her for moment and the corner of his lip twitches. When he leans against the rail and gazes into the distance. Soon they will arrive at Omashu, meet up with his uncle to get all the information needed and then… then he will hopefully find his mother. Zuko is that kind of person, who likes to overthink. What will he do when he finds her? What will he say? Does she even want to see him? Why else would she have not returned after his coronation?

There are so many questions that plague his mind, but he will not find the answers until that very moment his eyes lock with hers. It troubles him, but he must go ahead and endure it.

The journey to Omashu isn’t a long one and when Zuko takes a small break, to heat the tea Katara prepared before, he sits down and watches her. It must have been two hours now and she is still sleeping. It makes him wonder how her usual sleeping pattern is now without the constant fear of being caught up by their enemies. Apart from the few letters they have sent to each other after the war, Zuko and Katara never really stayed in touch. It was difficult for him to travel in his first years as the Firelord, he was bound in his nation and the need to settle everything right.   
Suki and Sokka often came to visit, Suki being deiof in the safety of his nation and Sokka working for a better business relation between the Southern Watertribe and the Fire Nation. They never stayed longer than a couple of weeks, but it still was enough for the three of them to stay thick as thiefs.

It was more difficult seeing Aang and Toph, though. When Zuko started going to the Earth Kingdom for public relations, he took some time to visit Toph’s Academy. He always did, but there wasn’t often a reason for him to go to the Earth Kingdom, so their friendship died down a little.  
What surprised him the most was his friendship with Aang. After the war he expected to see him a lot more often, which he did, but it wasn’t the way he imagined it to be. The airbender was often stressed and tired at every meeting and when Zuko would invite him over for some tea the Avatar often declined, having to run to the next meeting and the next after. When Aang would feel guilty and accept the invitation for once, the conversations would start with their private lives and always end with anything business.  
Their friendship was still there, but to Zuko it felt so far away and more business than friendly.

Zuko looks at Katara’s twitching eyebrows and thinks she might have an unsettling sleep.  
Thinking of the way he never had the chance to visit her, how she never made a move to visit him, saddens the young Firelord. They might have had a rocky start with their friendship, but when they got past all the your-nation-wants-my-nation-dead, he believed to have found a new and important friend. However after the war and after exchanging a few letters to one another, their contact has stopped. He always wondered how and why, they were both busy before with the Fire Nation and the Air Temple, but still managed to write letters. So why did it stop?

When Katara lets out a moan, he decides to wake her.   
“Katara,” he shakes her shoulder a little. “Katara, wake up.”

She opens her eyes with a jolt and looks around. “What, what happened?”

There’s confusion in his eyes before he registers what she was talking about.

“Nothing happened, you’re fine. We are arriving in a couple of minutes.”

Her shoulders slacken in relaxation and she rubs her eyes. “I’m sorry I was out so long.”

“It’s okay, you look like you needed it.”

They left their airship near the towns entry and made their way to the meeting point with Iroh.  
“Why exactly is Iroh here again?”   
“He said he visited some old friends, but knowing my uncle it could mean something less harmless than it sounds.”  
Katara snorts at that and they continue their way. Zuko has his golden headpiece stashed in a bag and his rich robes were left behind in the Fire Nation. His clothing is normal Eath Kingdom attire with a hooded robe so no one would suspect the Firelord walking around the streets of Omashu without any guards.  
Katara has her hair tied up in a bun and her clothes matched Zuko’s. She pulls her hood a little more down and watches as Zuko fiddles with a map. “You sure you know the way?”

“Of course I do,” he grumbles offended.

“Mhm, she muses, “ I’m pretty sure that you’re holding it wrong.”

“I’m not- I know how to read maps Katara!” With another murmur he turns the map in different directions before stilling. “Okay, we have to go back and turn at the left corner.”

She doesn’t say anything but smiles.

At the end of the flowered path stands a big house painted in red and white. It almost looks like a mansion; its windows are tall and long and almost make the house look like it’s just made of glass. There’s a long fence of iron around the estate and it seems that there are several guards posted all around the house.  
Now, Zuko wonders what kind of friend of his uncle that man actually is.

One of the guards at the entrance steps forward and raises a sword in their direction.

“Stop. This is private property. If you’re not known, you shall leave.”

Katara and Zuko exchange a quick confused glance before Zuko steps forward a little and places a fist on his chest.

“I am here to see the Dragon of the West.”

“You cannot pass before you’ve proven yourself to be worthy.”

Zuko’s eyes furrow for a second and then he relaxes, because he knows exactly what this man wants to hear.

“Everyone is worthy until their very last breath.”

There is a small silence after and Katara seems to be the only one not knowing what in the actual La is going on. She suppresses a flinch when the guard lets his armed hand down and places a fist on his chest, just like Zuko.

“You shall pass. Welcome brother.”

Zuko nods and throws Katara a quick glance to follow him.  
She does, but she’s still so confused. “Zuko?” She starts to ask but he hushes her.  
The guard at the front door opens it and leads them to the main hall.

“The Dragon of the West will see you now.” With one last bow, the guard leaves the hall and Katara slowly turns to Zuko. “Uhhh, what exactly was that?”

The Firelord looks around the hall and scratches at the bottom of an old scroll on the table. “I think this is a confidential house of the White Lotus.”

Katara raises an eyebrow. “Uh-hu, well it was definitely weird.”

Zuko doesn’t answer and he doesn’t need to. The door on the other side of the hall opens and there he is. The Dragon of the West.  
It must have been three months since he’s seen his uncle last, but that old man always managed to make Zuko long for him. Long for the comforting words and the kind gestures.

“Nephew!”  
They hug tighter than Katara would have thought, and when Iroh finally let go of his nephew, he turned to Katara. “Ah, Master Katara, it surely has been a while.”  
And yes, it has been a while. Katara remembers the great man as a strong and fit man for his age, but the man that stands in front of her looks older, paler and chubby again. But this charming smile of his has obviously never left.

When he walks over to her, she bows and places her fist against her palm. “Dragon of the West, Great Master Iroh and Founding Leader of the White Lotus.”

There’s a small silence before she can hear Zuko snorting and Iroh hushing him.

“Oh child, I’ll have none of that nonsense when we are with family.” He grins and lays a hand on top of his stomach. “Now stop hunching like that and sit down. Tea?”

Katara blushes embarrassingly and nods. It sounds weird to her that he calls her family. She hasn’t seen him in so long, yet he still calls her that. “Thank you,” she murmurs and shoots Zuko a glare. The Firelord seems amused about the situation though and just shakes his head grinningly.

They sit down and Iroh serves the tea. He doesn’t even bother with the formalities and goes straight to the point.

“My contact man has sent me the coordinates of a small town near the back of Ba Sing Se. There apparently lives a woman around the same age as your mother and she arrived a year after your mother disappeared.” Katara sees Zuko’s fist tensing. Iroh continues. “Her name is supposed to be Liling and her physical appearance seems to fit as well. No one knows where she is from, she says she was born a farmers child and Fire Nation troops destroyed her home and killed her parents.”

Iroh sets his tea down and pulls out a scroll. “There is more information, all you need to know is written there. Make sure you don’t lose it, nephew.”

Zuko accepts the scroll with careful hands and looks down at it. “Liling,” he breathes, not low enough for the other two to miss it though.

“How did you two arrive?”

Zuko doesn’t seem to realize that his uncle spoke to him, eyes glued to the scroll, so Katara took over. “We came by airship.”

The old man nods and takes a last sip of his tea. “Then you should leave just before sunrise tomorrow. It’s not wise to leave in the middle of the day now.”

Katara stifles a groan at Iroh’s statement. _Before sunrise? Again?_

The Firelord seems to have snapped out of his gaze and looks at his uncle. “We don’t have a place to stay.”

“Well I think it’s obvious that you’ll be staying here, nephew.”

“What even is this place? Why are you here?” Zuko looks around again with a mistrusted face.

There is that sound of the tea glass softly hitting the table and Iroh smiles. “This is one of the secret houses of the White Lotus. I was on a business meeting with an old friend and slept here in the meantime.”

With cracking bones and a small groan, the old man stands up and turns around to leave. “Follow me children, I’ll show you to your rooms.”  
Katara would have loved to correct him, that they are in fact no longer children, but the sound of it sparked nostalgic warmth in her heart.

They both took a quick nap and servants woke them to the smell of deliciously cooked lunch. Zuko noticed that Sokka wasn’t the only one in the family with a large appetite and struggled to hide a small smile. Katara’s mouth was stuffed with rice balls and when she realized her audience, she swallowed everything down with a blush.

When the Dragon of the West eventually enters the room and sits down next to them, he places several items on the table. “I brought these for you to take with you,” he explains. “The white lotus piece will open trusting doors for you, the gold will clear your way and the tea… well, you know what the tea is for!” He smiles with his eyes squinted.

It still amazes Katara how one of the most powerful men she knows could be so… adorable.

“Thank you uncle,” Zuko nods in gratitude. “For everything.”

“Oh Zuko, there is nothing in this world you should thank me for.”

The waterbender can’t help but take in the saddened atmosphere. She knows that even though Zuko was an ungrateful child at the beginning, his uncle never lost faith in him. She knows that Iroh hadn’t doubted him once in his long life, not even when Zuko betrayed them in the catacombs. And it relieved Katara. It relieved her to know that Zuko could always count on his uncle if not on anyone else. It relieved her that in the times she wasn’t able to send consulting letters, his uncle always took over. Katara loves her father dearly, but she believes to have never seen such a strong relationship between a father and a son.

“Oh!” Iroh’s clapped hands bring her attention to him. “I almost forgot; there is a small feast just a couple of minutes down the road! I would love for you two to join me before your departure.”

When a knock disturbed Katara’s late reading time, she was surprised to see Zuko standing in front of her door. He looked uncomfortable and cleared his throat.

“Would you like to go to the feast?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all liked it bc I'm not really sure tbh.
> 
> I’m always happy and grateful for comments & kudos ♡


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